Jar & Joia in Japan! (Part 1)

(If you haven't already, check the previous post "How to Blow $2000 in Tokyo...)

Our whole trip actually got off to a rocky start. We nearly missed our flight TO Tokyo because we overslept! Got on the wrong bus stop...TWICE! We were those people sweating and running through the airport at breakneck speed, knocking over children. But we made our flight there and let me just say that Japan Airlines has the BANGIN-EST Economy class you will ever see! Dang, I should've taken a picture. But basically, each person has his own individual Jetson-esque chair pod. The leg room is a-ma-zing. And your seat can lay totally horizontal without so much as disturbing the people behind you. It's all automated, too. So you know we sat there playing with the seats for a good hour.

We arrived at Narita Airport and took the Limousine Bus to Tokyo Station. Narita is probably the most inconvenient airport in the world because it's still about 2 hours from Tokyo. It's in the freakin' sticks. So the 2-hour flight is really just the beginning. Fine. We kicked back and basically had the bus to ourselves! Jar was acting THE FOOL though, hands hanging out the windows and cracking jokes. They soon realized that maybe it wasn't safe for him to be doing that and put the air on. Anyway, we arrived at Tokyo Station and got directions to take the Metro to our hotel. But something got lost in translation because SOMEHOW we ended up on an express train BACK to Narita!!!! Talk about kicking ourselves. We were SO pissed. So that meant, you guessed it, another FOUR hours of transportation. I was in such a foul mood and Jar was all chipper with his "C'est la vie" attitude. But I'm sort of a brooder about certain things. When things go terribly wrong, I piss and moan and pout until the feeling passes. I have to come to terms with the futility of a situation before surrendering completely. So, anyway, we finally got to the hotel around 5pm I guess. Showered immediately, ordered a $20 baby-sized pizza from Domino's and watched sumo wrestling on TV. I totally love these fat-looking muscular men in diapers and slicked back hair. It's all very Baby Huey-ish and extremely entertaining.

Later Thursday night, having no itinerary at all, we decided to pick a neighborhood and just go out. We started in Ginza, which is a huge area chock full of designer stores and sleek businessmen. Or at least I noticed the sleek businessmen. May as well touch on this now because you KNOW my yellow fever is in full swing. Japanese guys are pretty hot, too. I do love a man in a nice, tailored suit. Unlike Korea where the shiny, metallic suit is king, in Tokyo it's all business. And I found the classic black suit and white shirt incredibly refreshing. And not to mention sexy. Tie or no tie, I was loving the look. My head was on a swivel. So, in Ginza, we stopped by the Gucci store so Jar could get a glimpse. It was gorgeous and sprawling of course. It felt just like the Fifth Avenue store but it was nearly empty. One of the saleswomen, nicknamed Zoo (perhaps short for Izumi), was asking us how she could improve her English, while speaking to us in perfect English. That's Asia for you I guess. So modest.

After that, we wandered over to an off-beat bar called Doggy's. The 70's soul music flowing from the window was an instant temptation so we had to go. It was nearly empty except for a few businesspeople drinking and mingling. We got right down to business though, ordering a couple rounds of drinks and some shots. The bartender was so incredibly chipper that we had to get pictures with him. Every 2 minutes, we were saying, "Sumi masen!" which means excuse me in Japanese. If he got sick of us, we couldn't tell.

Later that night, we headed out to Roppongi, which is sort of like the Itaewon of Tokyo. Lots of foreigners and foreigner-loving Japanese people. My brother has pictures from that night. For some reason I don't. Oh, now I remember why! We went to Bar 911, which serves FREE champagne for ladies all night on Thursdays. I had about 6 or 7 glasses - both regular and the rose kind. I was feeling pretty nice. The club was cool. We met these 2 guys who were engineers or telecommunications workers, Mark and Andy. Mark was half Japanese and once he found out that Jar was my brother and NOT my boyfriend/husband/lover (something that messed up my flavor ALL weekend!!), he started hitting on me. He wasn't cute though so I just kept drinking the champagne! After Bar 911, we went to a hip-hop club called Bar 99. So reminiscent of college days at HU, sweating out my perm and smelling like an ashtray. I danced with a child most of the night. A 20-year old half-black and Japanese kid named...dang, can't remember. Starts with a U. Anywho, he was cool with his 1998 cornrows.

We stumbled out of there around 3am and went to McDonald's. Greasy food is mandatory after binge drinking right? Jar was so plastered that he kept trying to touch the cashier girl. I thought they were gonna call security on him! He kept ordering more food (a #1 Big Mac meal, a fish sandwich, fries, 5 piece nugget, soda...) and saying how "little and cute" she was. EMBARRASSING!!! The taxi home was about $40 and most of the ride was spent having Jar talk about how much he loves me and that we're "all we've got" in this family thing. "If anyone ever messes with you, I'll kill him...I'm serious...Wow, I'm drunk in Tokyo right now.." Priceless. WHY DIDN'T I TAKE A PICTURE?!?!??!

The next morning, hangover in place, Jar wakes up and asks, "Wait a minute, who had McDonald's last night??" NO recollection of the debauchery. This is why evidence is mandatory. Friday was a cool day. We ate lunch at a noodle bar near our hotel. They serve it with bibs and this place was packed with people just slurping and munching. It was surreal. Beautiful men and women in their fancy clothes and big, ole white bibs. So, we wore them too!

After lunch, we took a short cruise around the harbor. It was a gorgeous day albeit a little overcast. Nice breeze and cool sights. I have no idea what these buildings are and thanks to my crappy camera and foggy sky, neither do you! Hahaha!! On to the next post...this may be a 3-parter!!!


Nikki said...

heller:) loving the blog and the satire. I taught ESL in Mexico and am thinking of making Asia my next stop (the going home thing SO did not work for me). And I'm an HUer too - you know! Continue to have a blast and I'll continue to have a great vicarious life;)


LadyWritesTheBlues said...

I took Japanese my freshman year in college, and then switched to Spanish so @ least I didn't have to learn another alphabet (code for lazy). Now I kick myself in the butt bout it because all I remember is 'Pleased to meet you' in Japanese! (*pouting*)

Ok tell Jar not to get yall arrested in McDonalds! And who ate all of that food that he ordered???LOL

Oh and love the braids!

Anonymous said...

Jar looks like Dad in that first shot. All he has to do is say "hey giiiirrrl" and it's official LOL.

I love the sentimental drunken moment. This is why you should invest in a mic for your iPod so you can record some of the silly shit that comes out of folks' mouths.

Anonymous said...

And since when are we moderating comments, Missy?

Ms. Jackson said...

Wow this is why crazies shouldn't travel together.

love you guys. Glad you had a good time.