The Seoul of Black Folks

My Temporary Escape from Reality

2011-05-30T21:20:00.000-04:00

London was just that - a temporary escape from my hectic reality. I intended to divest myself of all the emotional baggage that had been draining me and I think it semi-accomplished that goal. As anyone who has ever experienced disappointment knows, it's nearly impossible to shut off your mind when it's focused on something, whether good or bad. In my quiet moments, I thought of G. But I mostly stayed busy hanging out with my fabulous friends. I drove up to NYC first and hung out with my brother and his girlfriend. They took me to, go figure, a Korean fried chicken spot called BonChon. I remember seeing it in Korea but never went there. A few other friends joined us and we made a night out of laughing, drinking (dangerous) soju and grubbing. The following night, my DC crew was in town to celebrate my girl's birthday so I hung out all day with them. I was feeling a bit down since this was a trip G and I were supposed to make together, but I tried to have a good time. My flight to London was super early, about 745am, so I barely slept. Nervous energy? Perhaps...I had some red wine to calm my nerves on the flight and thought of all the impending fun...

Seeing the Parliament Building never really gets old...it's like living art. Even in the gloomy weather, I couldn't help but stop and stare, traffic jams be damned. The traffic is probably the most unfortunate aspect of this area....too many gawking tourists like me.

the London Eye...aka the-ginormous-ferris-wheel-that-I'm-too-scared-to-ride...

A lovely pub near Westminster...there's like 2 pubs per person in London...which I just made up but it sure felt true

The iconic London Underground logo made from random objects...like clay and pencil and tape. Cute artwork.

View from the Thames River..

In Tra-FAL-gar Square, which I inevitably mispronounce and am promptly corrected by anyone within earshot.

Walking with my friend Harry, in search of ice cream

The coolest rocker momma on the planet...and her squiggly (albeit a bit grumpy) bundle of cuteness.

My new love - Strongbow cider

The man of a million metaphors...

Headed to the Tate Modern...loved every minute, especially their A-MA-ZING gift shop!! Who knew?!

Had to sneak a pic or two...you can't judge a book by its cover nor a museum by its facade. Looked like an abandoned building on the outside but how deceptive! My trip had many highlights, some of which I failed to capture on camera. Had dinner with a fellow blackgirl blogger at an adorable Thai restaurant near Piccadilly Circus. First time having ostrich since the Philippines and it tasted even better than I remembered. My friend's husband also made a proper English meal with yorkshire pudding, roast beef and gravy, potatoes, and veggies. I ate enough fish & chips and drank enough Magner's to satisfy my cravings for years to come. Even more, I enjoyed walking around Brick Lane, where I sampled divine Indian cuisine and browsed beautiful vintage boutiques.

cool graffiti near Brick Lane

When the time came to leave London, I felt ready to start on my new journey. After starting work and having an incredible summer in DC with my "framily" (friends who are really more like family), I discovered that I'd be spending the next 2 years in the glorious Caribbean island of Barbados. So, here we go... :) Until then,J

A Closed Chapter, An Open Book

2011-05-10T23:35:00.011-04:00

**all grad photo credit goes to my friend, Cameron**

My graduation weekend was filled with lots of happiness, laughter, and amazing moments. It could not have been more perfect. Even Ash and Mimi flew in for my big day, along with my granddad, aunt, and uncle. As you can see, I attempted to get my hair straightened, only for it to be frizzy after 10 mins I actually cannot believe graduate school has ended, but I am incredibly glad that I made it. I'm ready to close that chapter of my life and start anew. I have no doubt that the best of my life lies ahead (though I've had some damn good moments to date). The weekend started on Friday night with a celebration of my graduation and my brother's birthday at Marvin on U Street. Great atmosphere and music! The DJ had everyone up and dancing. I even scored an attractive, though strangely dressed, dance partner! Nothing like a random compliment from a stranger ("I think you're cute," he said) to crack my post break-up blues. Pics below and on to my lovely trip to London.... :)

**busting a gut with Jar, Ash, and Jess at Marvin on U. Street...**
**besties**

**my little cousin - he's such a cutie!**

**my rocks**

**with Ash and Mimi on a Potomac River cruise**

**looking more like my mom than I care to admit**

Until then,

J

UK Getaway

2011-05-06T18:35:00.005-04:00

When the ish hits the fan, folks, that's when I pack my bags and leave the country. Call it extreme flight syndrome, but I just have to get away. Traveling not only feels amazing, but it gives me perspective. Whenever I get too lost in my own thoughts or bogged down in my world of madness, getting away allows me to breathe again. So, yesterday, I booked a 4-day trip to London to see some friends. I also plan to sightsee, find a leftover Royal Wedding trinket, and try not to go broke. Even though I hate planes, I must admit that I'm pumped to fly on Virgin Atlantic!

Anyway, this weekend is all about celebrating the people who dragged me across the finish line, offered words of encouragement, commiserated with me, and bought me lots of drinks. I love you all. And although the ex won't be around to raise a glass to me, I appreciate all of his hard work to get me here, too. It takes a village...to get a chick through graduate school.

Cheers everyone!

J

Things Fall Apart (or Together?)

2011-05-01T20:41:00.008-04:00

A friend of mine has had this quote as her Gchat status for awhile now: "Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can come together." It really struck me, especially in the midst of some of the most important life changes ever. I graduate in a week, I start my new career two weeks later, and I'm moving to a new apartment in the city. I have no earthly clue where on Earth I will be in the next six months so this makes planning anything rather challenging. My now ex-boyfriend and I have been on this seesaw since January with him worrying constantly about our future, where I'm going, when I'm leaving and everything under the sun. Admittedly, it has been a period of great uncertainty and legitimate anxiety. Everyone who is important to me has been on pins and needles and he probably feels it even more because we spend a lot of time together. We took a break last month for five days so we could sort through some things. We missed each other terribly and realized we wanted to stay together. I felt relieved and somewhat more confident that we may survive some early Foreign Service turbulence.

But alas, it seems that things are falling apart again. Anxiety has crept back in. Doubt has pervaded, questioning the longevity and sustainability of this relationship. And I am tired. I am just tired and wondering whether I should really be fighting so hard for everything or whether I should just let things fall apart. At what point do you just stop fighting? I do not want to give up. That's just not me. But I also cannot handle the stress of having my emotions on edge every month like this. So, a large part of me feels that I've got to let this go and think more clearly about my future and what is best for me, without distractions. Am I thinking too idealistically by hoping that he could come along with me in the Foreign Service? It was never my intention to "drag" anyone with me. Since the beginning, I've only provided the tools so he can make his own decisions about it. It appears those decisions are manifesting in crushing doubt, prefaced by the "you're a great girl, but..." speech.

So anyway, it sucks for sure that in the midst of so many amazing things happening in my life, this is trying to overshadow it all. I always end up being okay when the smoke has cleared, but it just adds another unexpected layer of complexity to my life. As hard as it is to do, maybe I just have to let this go to be ready to accept what is really meant for me.

7 days til graduation. I'm hoping peace of mind will follow.

Until then,

J

REPOST: Dating in Delaware

2011-04-27T09:06:00.002-04:00

Make sure to check out Jamaican Adventures Pt. 2. I was digging through more old blogs and stumbled upon this gem from December 2008. Enjoy!

"I went out to dinner tonight with a guy named Jim. I met him at the gym. I know right? Jim from the gym. But hell it's simple and I love simplicity. Jim's mad cool though. I remember him from a few weeks ago and he just kinda watched me while I was lifting. It freaked me a little but I decided to pretend not to see him. So a few days ago, while I was lifting and minding my own business, ipod thumping and sufficiently drowning out human contact, Jim started talking to me.

"Blah blah blahbitty blah blah..." is what his mouth said.

"Huh?? What's that?" I said, ripping out my headphones, fully annoyed and breathing hard.

"Oh, I just said that like, you're using the, like, hardest machine here. That's what they said...but you make it look so easy..."

**sniff sniff** Do I smell game? Alright I'll play along...

"Ha..well..I dunno about that. But it's pretty tough, yeah.." I responded, gulping water and wiping my mouth with the back of my hand, totally de-feminizing myself.

"So um, I've seen you here before...are you from here?"

Little did Jim know, this is one of my pet peeves at the gym - having full conversations while trying to exercise. But I played along because he seemed pretty harmless and nice. I respect that he had the balls to approach me in the first place. He's the only guy, well except a chubby guy last month, that's actually talked to me. So, after about 5 seconds of an awkward pause, I chimed in, "Well, see you around. Enjoy your workout!"

As I started to walk away, he said, "Hey...ummm..hey, if you're not busy this weekend maybe, do you wanna have dinner..or something?" This put me in a compromising position because I was surrounded by all the much hotter guys that I was actually interested in. They'd all seen me chatting with Jim, sizing him up no doubt. So I had a couple of options: 1) I could make up a lie like, "Oh gosh, I'm sorry, I have a boyfriend..." which would effectively take me out of the running with said cuties 2) I could awkwardly say I wasn't interested, playing this poor guy in public and sending a signal to others that I'm unapproachable or 3) I could just go with it and say f*ck it!! I realize there are implications to giving my number to the nerdy guy, but truthfully, nerdy guy is actually nice. Not attractive, but nice. He had the cojones so he got the digits...

So we went to this Indian restaurant for dinner. It's my fault for saying I'd eat anything. I just got flashbacks of my Pizza Hut incident from Korea and prayed that I wouldn't have to bolt from that place. He ordered so much daggone food. My stomach started rumbling after the Tandoori Chicken. Then it tightened up a bit after the Curry Lamb and started straining by the time our honey-laden dessert rolled around. Have you ever felt so full you can't even concentrate? That's kinda how I felt tonight. And he talks really slowly and methodically, choosing words and questions carefully. Not a problem except my eyes were starting to blur. But it was nice, had a great time. I could tell he was taking careful mental notes about things I liked and didn't like, pet peeves, etc. And his mother and I share a birthday which is ironic. So finally, after 2.5 hours of gorging myself, I stumbled to my car, gave him a hug and bounced.

Annoying thing #35902456 about living with your parents: having to explain inconsequential outings. I told my mom late in the evening that I was going out for dinner.

"With who?!?!"

"This guy Jim from the gym...it's nothing, just dinner."

"Well it must be pretty damn important! There is TOR-REN-TIAL downpour! Where are you going? Is he coming to get you??!"

"No, Mom..I'm meeting him there.."

"Oh good. Don't tell him where we live. You barely know this person..."

"Yes, Mom..."

Then when I came back, I had to hear it from both my parents.

DAD: Uh hmmm...so how was your date? Did you kiss him?

ME: Oh JE-SUS, Daaaadddd!!! You're so embarrassing!! It was JUST DINNER!

MOM: Well...who is this Jim? You didn't mention him. What did you eat? I made Michelle's cake. So when are you gonna see Jim again hmmmm??

DAD: Yeah, you were gone for 2.5 hours. Hmph, some dinner. Bet you kissed him.

ME: GOODNIGHT!!!!!

Ugh...parents are annoying. Any and all dates will be John Doe from now on. But yeah, he's cool people. However, I'd better make it clear that friendship is ALL he's about to get from me.

I'm off to North Carolina this weekend, with a quick stop by Richmond to visit my Crazy. Stories to follow I'm sure... :)

Until then,

J"

Jamaican Adventures Pt. 2

2011-04-27T08:26:00.003-04:00

Thankfully, the rest of our trip was much less stressful - no broken down cars or shady people to deal with. Since the shady car guy wasn't going to repay us for all the money we socked into his piece-of-crap car, he agreed to take us to Good Hope, a scenic area of Falmouth atop a winding, dirt road the next day. It would have been better were he not there because he had a funky attitude the entire time. So, I took it upon myself to stay as long as possible and waste all of his time. Perfectly passive-aggressive.

We also brought along the young son of G's friend and his classmate. They needed to get out of the house. And I think secretly, they wanted to tag along with such a cool lady like myself. :) ....or maybe they were just really bored.

Later on, we went to a local hang out near the fisherman's pier. They blast good reggae and serve up drinks and chill vibes. After my usual rum cream on the rocks, I was feeling pretty good, though not good enough to dance battle anyone. G did though. The photos will remain locked away for eternity (his strict orders). But suffice it to say, I got a chuckle.

*Me with Peter's son...loved that kid!!*

The next morning, we woke up painfully early to go fishing. I had bailed the first time because it was still dark outside and I was exhausted. I'm glad I didn't do that the second time because I actually had a blast (once I got over being up earlier than the chickens). I enjoy fishing actually. My family would go often and although my brother and dad caught the majority of the fish, I still learned how to bait the hook and got a rush everytime I felt a tug. But fishing in some NJ creek is a long way from doing it in the Caribbean. Luckily, no sharks got to me...though I'm sure I'd make a great meal for them. Plenty of meat.

*Me in my island Rambo/croc hunter gear...WTF*

*poor little Jackfish...he was delicious*

*in the swamps*

*G going spearfishing...add that to the list of "things i will probably never do"*

*Peter cleaning the fish...and using the guts as bait! Genius!*

*sorry we had to kill you and fry you and grub down on you with some cabbage, rice & peas, and a Red Stripe...you will be missed*

*an interpretive picture of me, drawn by Peter's son....he wants to be an artist...or a doctor...or a builder...anything where he can work for himself. Love it!*

On the penultimate day, we walked around town taking photos of all the cool, historic buildings and sites, starting with where we stayed: The Baptiste Manse aka Falmouth Heritage Renewal.

Next, we walked to the Phoenix Foundry:

A recently remodeled building with a big clock...lol. **insert oooh's and aaahh's**

And around town, I just snapped photos that I fancied...like this one where the clear sky and swaying palm trees were perfectly framed through a broken window

Or this demolished "Rastaurant" where Rastas could eat healthy food and pay homage to African kings and queens at the same time. I wish I could have eaten there.

These little houses sat along the massive, new port built for cruise ships. They are used for braiding hair

Finally, my favorite building in Falmouth - the Courthouse. They slapped some fresh paint on it and it really adds to the beauty of the town's coastline. Yellow is just one of those colors that can never make you angry so I enjoyed seeing this building everyday.

So it took me two months to complete these posts, but guess what?! I'm officially finished with graduate school! I'll walk across that stage in 11 days and can check it off my to-do list. Two weeks after that, I start my new job with the State Department. My life will be in transition, but I definitely intend to keep blogging! The next few months will be very exciting...and I hope you'll come along for yet another ride!

Until then,

J

Jamaican Adventures Pt. 1

2011-04-07T21:16:00.017-04:00

Hi folks! This post is long overdue, but I wanted to recap my fabulous trip to Jamaica last month. Things are pretty good with me so I'm not going to complain. I'm just a month away from finishing up school and reclaiming vital parts of my life. I can't wait to just watch TV again and read non-foreign policy related stuff. And exercise. Yes, the Chubby Train is pulling into the station....anyway, on to adventures...

And boy did we have an adventure in Jamaica. I realize most people who travel to Jamaica on vacation probably stick to all the beautiful resorts the island has to offer. If I weren't dating my boyfriend, I'm sure that would have been where I ended up, too. But because he'd spent some time in Falmouth, a historical and revitalized area of the country, that's where we decided to go. Leaving Baltimore, where it was 42 degrees and bitter, and arriving in sunny and breezy Jamaica nearly sent me into cardiac arrest. I immediately loved it and I loved the people and their accents. Reggae blasting from car stereos and friendly taxi drivers offering rides to wherever were a wonderful introduction for me. Along the way, I snapped pics of the scenery, all very beautiful and lush and, unfortunately, privately owned by expensive resorts. That kinda bummed me out that so much of the prime real estate in Jamaica isn't owned by or given access to Jamaicans. But I think the same can be said of all developing countries that happen to be near a beach. It's not right, but it seems to be a reality for now.

So, we finally arrived in Falmouth after a harrowing ride (I was clutching the door handle for most of it) and settled at the Falmouth Heritage Renewal (FHR). It's a historical organization that works to revive and restore parts of the city. It's kinda cool because the building, which architects and others have worked to restore, is a beautiful mansion with a woodshop downstairs and bedrooms/office upstairs. My boyfriend worked for them for four months a couple years ago so it was nice for him to see all of his old friends. Now, we had planned to just spend a week by ourselves in this BIG mansion, but alas, God had other plans. There was a group of 13 students in town on spring break who were interning for FHR and they would be staying there, too. So, we just rolled with the punches. I will admit at times that I felt like they were just looking at us like, "What are these two old people doing here??" But overall, they were really friendly and open. And they had a great experience!

So, we shared a bunk bed (lol) and had to use mosquito nets at night. The last time I was on a bunk bed, I rolled off and knocked out all of my teeth (I was 5) so memories were flooding back. And then to know that tiny, bloodsucking creatures were going to attack me, too was all too much. So, we shared the bottom bunk and he received the brunt of mosquito bites....now that is love, folks.

Our first night was fantastic! I didn't take any pics, but we basically walked around town and ate A BUNCH of food. I can't even describe how much I appreciate that there are multiple, delicious jerk chicken stands all over town. I was completely in heaven. And then there was the beef patty place called Tastee which I visited every single day...sometimes multiple times a day....to feed my addiction. On top of that, there are fruit stands, fresh fish, brown stew chicken....I could on. Homegirl gained some weight and I was proud of every pound!

The next day, we ventured to Time N Place, a little secluded beachfront bar and restaurant. They were blasting more reggae and it was totally empty save for a few employee. It was the epitome of relaxation. I drank it up, like a Red Stripe.

On our third day, we took a road trip to Port Antonio, a beautiful, quaint town about 3.5 hours from Falmouth. It was to be a scenic drive along the meandering north coast of the island with picturesque views of the water, mountains, jungles, and everything in between. I was practically foaming at the mouth with anticipation...but naturally, we experienced more than a few setbacks. It all started with the car rental...

Something should have told me he couldn't be trusted. After numerous phone calls to friends of friends of friends, we were finally able to secure a car from a young Jamaican kid for our drive across country. We rode in the car with him and everything sounded ok. Sure, the brakes were making a little noise but nothing alarming. Kicked the tires for good measure. Insurance and registration, check. He gave us one piece of advice: "You can use my iPod, but don't play it when the car is off - it will kill the battery." Hmmmm...alright, that's weird. But we had no intentions of playing his iPod anyway so it shouldn't matter, right? Of course, the gas tank was on empty so we drove to the nearest gas station to fill it up. Fifty dollars and multiple swear words later, we were ready to head out. G turned the key and....silence. He tried again....nothing.

"C'mon babe, stop playing around. Let's go!"

"I'm not playing around," he said, "the car won't start..."

WHAT?!?! What do you MEEEAAAN it won't start?! We just poured fiftyfreakingdollars into it - it better start! I knew it! The damn kid had hustled us already and I was livid. I mean, livid. The gas station attendants took pity on us and offered a jump. Nothing. After 10 minutes with the car, the battery was completely, utterly, incomprehensibly dead. Luckily, I had the sense to get the boy's number before we parted ways and I called him up immediately, cursing a blue streak. Eventually, he figured out our issue and promised to deliver a brand new battery right away. He showed up, I glared, he fixed it, and we left. "If there are any more problems with this damn car, I swear..."

I just wanted to get to Port Antonio without anymore issues. So, finally on the road and basking in the Jamaican sun, I start to relax. Everything is beautiful and scenic. We're chatting and snacking on fruit and taking it all in. The roads meander through the hills as we whiz by the ocean. It was so perfect, I even started to doze a bit. Until I was rudely interrupted by a ferocious POP!!, then a slowing down of the car, a terrified look at G trying to steer the car, and a depressing thud as we pull off the road. Uh oh...we get out to inspect the damage: a completely flattened rear tire. Crap. In the trunk, there's a spare, but it's flat. The jack kit is incomplete, missing the crank to lift the car. And besides, neither of us knows how to change a tire anyway (shame on us). To make matters worse, the sun is beginning to set, we are parked on a two-lane winding road with drivers zipping by on either side, and we are across from a creepy, old cemetery. In short, we are f****d. Still a good 100 miles from our destination with no towns in sight, we are just flabbergasted as to what to do. We cannot push the car, we cannot call anyone to help, and we don't know where we are exactly anyway.

Now, I truly understand the saying that God looks out for babies and fools. Along came our angel #1 - a taxi driver who contained the Holy Grail of car tools in his trunk. He had an air pump (for the spare) and a complete jack kit. In less than 20 mins, he had fixed our tire and we were on the road again. We gave him some money, he grinned appreciatively, we thanked him 800 million times, and then I thanked God about half a trillion times. I was overcome with gratefulness for not having died on the side of a Jamaican highway. So we were on our way again, by the grace of a loving God, and I thought to myself, "If there are any more problems with this damn car, I swear..."

Guardian angel #1

About 30 minutes from our destination, we notice the brakes getting louder and louder. They are screeching at every turn, wailing at each gentle touch. Since I just recently got my brakes fixed, I knew it was bad news. The car wouldn't make it back to Falmouth nor would I want to risk our lives that way. So, what to do? Enter guardian angel #2 - Peter. Thankfully, a friend of ours back in Falmouth had a childhood friend in Port Antonio who knew everybody and everything in that town. Once we arrived to Port Antonio, we immediately called Peter and he came to see us. We told him about all our car troubles and he assured us that 1) the guy who loaned us the car was a trickster and 2) that everything would be alright. I had to stop myself from burrowing in his shoulder to cry. First, though, he took us out to a nice restaurant and we ate well. We were so tired from the harrowing day though that we just decided to go to bed and get a fresh start the next day.

We woke up to beautiful weather and just walked around town. We ate breakfast at a popular and super cheap restaurant. I fell in love with peanut porridge. For $3, we ate like royalty.

Then we called Peter to deal with the car business. He made some calls and took us to different mechanics. First, we went to the tire shop. If anyone can fix a tire, it'd be those guys. We were hoping they could just patch up the blown tire or something, but no dice. Instead, they retrieved a 7-inch nail from it and marked it for rubbish. Well, we couldn't afford a new tire (which would have been about $50) so the next alternative was to buy a used one for $8. It wasn't perfect, but we did the best we could. Next, we had to get those brakes fixed. So Peter called up his friends and they fixed our brakes, which were worn down to the metal in front, for the low price of $20. Angels - all of them, I tell you!

*working hard*

*not a brake pad in sight*

So, finally, after spending half of our day dealing with the car, we had time to actually enjoy the town. We didn't get to do nearly as much as we had planned, but I wanted to see a beach or something! So, Peter first took us to a secluded lagoon. I nearly broke my ankles walking down the steep hills, but it would have been worth it. Gorgeous. So G went snorkeling off somewhere, I waded by the shore and watched kiddies splashing around. Then I got some sun. After about an hour of that, I was starving so we headed to try some Boston Bay Jerk chicken, a specialty of Port Antonio. Talk about gorging myself...we got jerk chicken and pork, festival (a fried dough stick), roast yam, and 2 Red Stripes. Rolled over full.

By that point, it was time to get back on the road to Falmouth. We did have a long trek ahead. But before we said goodbye, we had to have one last car problem lest the trip wouldn't have been complete. As we were driving with Peter, the car began to cut out every time we stopped. At stoplights, stop signs, anytime the engine would idle for a few seconds. Whhhhhyyyyyyyyy?!?!? My nerves were totally shot, my hair was standing straight up, blood boiling, the whole bit. So, we took the car back to the tire shop and had them look at it again. The only comedic relief was an old rasta mechanic who kept singing and smoking (near the engine). It was just too funny that I had to laugh. We finally got on our way, said goodbye to Peter, and booked it all the way back to Falmouth.

It was dark about halfway through our trip and people were driving like maniacs so I sent up a few more prayers. Luckily, we got back safely. I called the guy and told him to come get his car...and do you know what he had the nerve to say??

"Oh, you guys are so late..."

I hung up the phone and just screamed my head off. Then I gave him an earful when we got back....he may be Jamaican, but I'm Jerseyan...and we don't play that.

Jamaican Adventures Pt. 2....

Yup, I Brought Home a White Guy...

2011-02-08T00:08:00.009-05:00

And a Mexican boy and a crazy Dominican/Brazilian one, too...probably would have brought home a Korean boy if that had been possible at the time. I wonder if 2011 will be all up in black women's love life like 2010 was. I guess time will only tell, but I've had some thoughts brewing about all the "interracial fervor." I guess my only question is really "What's all that fuss about?" It's like aliens landed in 1954 and "race-mixing" is suddenly taboo again. I've expressed and demonstrated my thoughts on dating outside of my race before so no sense re-hashing all that. What strikes me about the rhetoric nowadays is a decidedly desperate spin on dating out. I have a fabulous group of young, black professional women friends here in DC. I love them all dearly and we have commiserated about dating around these parts. Some of them have dated out and others have not. One day we had a particular email chain going in which one lady expressed her thoughts about it. In response to yet another article about lackluster partnering options, she concluded that she may really have to start dating white guys if things didn't change soon. Talk about striking a nerve with me - the only female in the group who happens to be booed up with a white guy. She and I have since cleared the air and she clarified what she meant by her statement, but it all got me to thinking: Since when did White guys become the cure-all consolation prize for love-wounded black women? Did I miss an all-important memo? Is dating out considered settling because a girl couldn't find a good, black man to be with? Recent media reports would have one believing that, but I wholly disagree.

I was telling Meeka one time that my childhood crushes reflected an early predilection for different flavors - White, Black, and Latino. Those were the boys in my neighborhood and I found something attractive in all of them. I put them all on the same level and this is, perhaps, where my ideas diverge from the majority. I kinda just had an "ah-ha" moment as I wrote that. I never really believed that a Black man would automatically be the best fit for me just because he was Black. There was potential for everyone to be a good match for me, in my mind. There was no pedestal for Black men in my world despite being surrounded by many exemplary models. As I read article after article about our love woes, I also checked the comments section. Some of the things that people were saying about dating out were downright vitriolic. One woman declared adamantly that she would never date "pink meat" and she wished people would stop trying to force Black women to do it. Another woman insisted she only wanted "chocolate babies with nappy hair." I just have to hang my mouth in disbelief a little bit because I can only imagine the type of backlash White people would face if they said things like that.

When I reflect on my checkered dating past, I realize non-Black men are beginning to outnumber the brothas. Is that weird? Not to me, but perhaps for the conservative-minded it might be. The bottom line is that I am attracted to guys who are attracted to me. When I first chopped off all my hair, I got ZERO (I mean, ZERO...not even a "sup ma") attention from Black men. Was I just surrounded by whack guys or was there something more to it? One of my coworkers (who probably had a crush on me pre-chop) threw a hissy fit when I came in with my short 'do. And from that point, the attention came from White guys and so it has continued. My personality and values stayed the same yet Black men remained elusive. So, I say that to drive home the point that there is nothing wrong with me for having dated non-Black men. There is nothing taboo about dating out and I wish people would give it a rest. If you are going to do it, do it with your head held high instead of feeling like you came in second place at a track meet. At the end of the day, we are all better off for having loved and being loved - no matter who is providing it. I'm hoping that in 2011 more people expand their minds - not just dating wise but in general. Try new foods, watch new films, see new places, push yourself in ways that your mind has yet to conceive. I don't know about yall, but I've only got one life to live and who is anyone to tell me how I should do it?

Until then,

J

Loving 2011 Already.

2011-01-05T21:18:00.012-05:00

Can you believe how quickly 2010 flew by?! My head is still spinning because it seemed like just yesterday that I was shoveling out my car from Snowmageddon, visiting beautiful Barcelona, and interning in Seoul. This year is probably going to be my best year yet though. I just have a good feeling and although my boyfriend seems to think odd-numbered years are crappy, I'm determined to make it amazing. Do you make New Years resolutions? You know, I don't anymore. I always commit myself to the same things: more love, more life, more learning and traveling, more understanding and self-awareness. These are the things that tend to enrich my life the most...and of course, great food!

My year ended wonderfully. It's rare that I have an awesome New Years, but I got to spend it with some of my most special friends and loved ones. I spent all week preparing for it - I got a looooooong overdue manicure and pedicure. I should never, ever allow my feet to get like that, finals or not. My toes literally looked like I could be catching salmon in some Alaskan river. That's just not okay. And I've got the ripped bedsheets to prove it. As the woman went to work on my feet, I pretended to ignore her struggles and exasperated chatter in Vietnamese. Poor thing, but I tipped her well. I also got my hair pressed! I've been natural now for about 2 years and 4 months. My official nappy-versary is February 11th when I big chopped. I resisted the urge to straighten my hair all this time, but more than anything, I wanted to do a length check. For 2011, I'm making healthy hair a tip-top priority. Unfortunately, my straight style lasted about 32 hours thanks to the unseasonably warm weather on New Years Day. But that's okay, I'll try it again for graduation in May.

After a nice dinner out on the town, I headed to Meeka's for a party! It was absolutely crazy fun! We have a group of young, black professional friends that always gets together for any and every reason. Meeka made some lethal (and delicious) Apple Pie Moonshine, along with an assortment of other liquors all hell-bent on derailing my sexy for the evening. Here are some of the pictures that won't embarrass me if I become an Ambassador. Lol.

CHEERS!!!

LET THE SILLY STRING FLY!!

MY BEST GIRL...

...AND MY BEST GUY :)

MISS T KEEPS THE PARTY GOING!

Stumbling in at 4am reminded me of my Korea days coming back from Gangnam. Yikes. Luckily, I didn't get sick.....

But I did have a nasty hangover the next morning when I had to run around and buy some gifts. New Years Day brought a special surprise. First of all, trying to keep anything from Meeka has proved impossible for the past 15 years so I was anxious about trying to pull this off. Luckily, there was a whole team of people working with me all to capture this very moment:

That's right - my Meeka is getting MAAAAARRRRRIIIIEEEEDDDDD!!! (You have to say it in the Oprah voice). I've known about her fiance's intention to propose for a while, but over the past couple months, everything started coming together quickly. I'd been very involved behind the scenes and loved running around to buy engagement gifts! Probably the only thing more nerve-racking than being proposed to is watching your best friend being proposed to! A big group of friends (the same ones from the NYE party) all met at a restaurant in Georgetown. As each course came and went, I got more and more anxious about the impending proposal. Finally, I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom and splash some cold water on my face to calm down. My legs were feeling wobbly and my mouth was mush...it was the strangest feeling in the world! Giddy with anticipation and adrenaline!

So, after dessert, things got quiet. I could feel the tense energy as we all (except for Meeka) knew what was coming. And finally, it started. The first proposal came from her fiance's young daughter who asked, "Will you be my stepmom?" and presented her with a cute little ring. Of course she said yes! But by this point, it dawned on her just what was happening and her breathing quickened. Then he started to speak and the waterfalls began! It was an amazing moment and I was beside myself with happiness. So, I'll stop rambling and just post the awesome photos!! :)

I'm so excited and truly honored to be Meeka's best friend and maid of honor...and I intend to make 2011 an amazing year for her, her fiance, and their daughter! Congrats, my dear! I love you always! :)

Well, in other not-so-exciting-news, I start school next week. Geez, can a sista get a breather?! I will be so glad when I can take that little piece of paper, put it up on a wall, and forget all about it! Lol. But this year will be very exciting for me, too as I prepare to start my career in the Foreign Service. I should know by late June or early July just where I will be living for the next few years. It is certainly bittersweet to choose a career that will take me away from friends and family, but I know ultimately that I will be doing important work to make America even better. And that will make it all worthwhile in the end. :)

So, here's to 2011. I cannot believe I've had this blog for almost four years! What an incredible journey and I definitely look forward to continuing to share my life with you all. Cheers!!

Until then,

J

GOBSMACKED!

2010-12-14T17:30:00.006-05:00

I'm not British, but I think their word "gobsmacked" is just fantastic. It manages to capture perfectly one's emotions when words just escape you. So, I got gobsmacked a couple times lately. Last week, as I was up burning the midnight oil working on a final paper, I logged onto Facebook to feed my undiagnosed ADD. The guy who I dated through most of college had a status up that said, "She said yes!" followed by lots of comments. I'd always imagined that finding out an ex (whom I didn't actually despise but with whom I shared a rather dubious relationship) was engaged would be a painful day. There was a temporary sense of "Holy crap, he got engaged?!" followed by, "Wow! He got engaged!" and then finally, "Awesome, he got engaged!" Even though I let go of him and what "we" used to be a long time ago, the feeling was still strange, to be sure. My first reaction was to send a congratulatory message, which I did. And it was genuine. There was an episode of Sex and the City in which Miranda and Steve broke up for the umpteenth time and Steve ends up living in a crappy apartment. Samantha says to her, "Well, I guess you won!" And Miranda replies, "Won what? It isn't a competition!"

"Yes, it is," Samantha quips, "It's called 'Who'll Die Miserable?'"

That line always struck me as hilarious and rather true. There are some exes you just want to disappear forever, others that you think the right timing may have changed things, and others who you loved and cared for dearly but realized they just were not right for you. Does an ex who treated you badly still deserve to be happy or would you be happy if that ex were somewhat miserable? My ex's recent engagement didn't stir feelings of resentment or bitterness within me, but the younger me probably wished he'd be slightly worse off without me being in his life. This is what motivates us to pull back from someone and "make them miss us." In reality, can any one person dictate the level of happiness in your life? And are we just egomaniacs for thinking someone will fall apart in our absence?

I said to my current boyfriend the other day, rhetorically, "What would I do without you?" And he responded, "I'm pretty sure you'd be just fine..." Well, of course, he's right. It's hard to imagine now that I'm in the middle of an awesome relationship, but without him, I'd be fine. Sure, there'd be a crappy period of withdrawal, but eventually, I would go back to how I was before him. So, this relationship has helped me to temper my expectations quite a bit and perhaps that is a great thing. Then, everything that happens is just icing. I'm definitely excited that my ex has found an amazing woman with whom he wants to share his life. That woman was not me...and that is okay. The tougher question is: Should I send a gift? :)

Another gobsmacked moment occurred about an hour ago when Facebook (noticing a pattern here!) sent me a "People You May Know" notice from the infamous married man, Jonathan. It sucked me back into that dark place for a moment. I had literally forgotten everything about this person and to have Facebook throw it in my face induced a gobsmacked moment for me. Meeka would have sent him a message; I blocked him so he'll never pop up again. Yikes.

On to happier stuff! I finished 3 semesters of graduate school and I've got one more to go! That is awesome and I drank lots of wine to celebrate. I can't wait to cross that item off my Bucket List. Thank you to those who voted on my next trip! I'm planning to visit Israel (because I've got a friend there) and Turkey (because I've got a cousin there). It might be a solo trip for me. Not many of my friends seem all that interested in visiting the Middle East. Honestly, neither did I until I started studying so much about it in my classes. So, we'll see what happens. :)

I'm excited for the next month! My boyfriend and I are going to see The Roots in DC soon and then we're headed to Philly with Meeka and her bf to visit Leelee and TJ. Should be VERY fun! I've got so much to catch up (including some Korean dramas!) and I apologize for neglecting my blog! I'd like to weigh in next time on black women, relationships, and interracial dating. Everyone and their momma had something to say about it this year so why can't I?!

Until then,

J

The Abyss.

2010-11-17T01:14:00.013-05:00

I think any advanced degree program should just simply be called "The Abyss." No matter what it is - law school, business school, basket weaving school - I'm sure all are equally tortuous and mind-numbing, especially basket weaving. So many baskets, so little time. Anyway, my lovelies, how have YOU been?? I don't ask that question enough (or at all)!! This blog is so selfish because it's all about ME, right? But honestly, there are 45 of you who follow this blog and there may be about 3 more who follow secretly and just lurk (oh yes, I see you too, Lurkers! Sike...) So, I want to hear from you guys!!! How's life? Who pissed you off today? Who made you smile? Who are you crushing on? Where are you traveling to next? I need ideas. You know, I want this relationship to be more reciprocal and interactive. So, humor me.....and help me procrastinate. Please? You can leave a comment OR send an email OR do both OR do neither......OR....just keep reading and lurking, lurkers. I won't judge. Hehe.

So, where the devil have I been the past 6 weeks?! I'm surprised no one emailed me to say, "Woman, why aren't you blogging?!" Usually those nasty emails come from Meeka though. So, aside from my never-ending papers, I hit NYC with the boy, attended a wine & reggae festival, and hung out in Miami with Meeka for a wedding. VERY much needed/appreciated mini-vacations. I was feeling kinda crazy and bogged down and stagnant. I stopped going to the gym, too. Nothing good ever comes of that, let me tell you. So, I'll quickly recap my whirlwind few weeks.

NYC

My crazy other half (aka my brother) lives up there with his lady so we crashed with him. Honestly, the weekend was absolutely perfect. I saw friends who I hadn't seen in a long time, ate FAB-U-LOUS (and inexpensive) food, and took in the sights and sounds of my favorite city. NYC has a very distinguishable "aroma", if you will. Those who live there know what I'm talking about - you just can't confuse that with anything else. It's at once abhorrent and comforting. I dunno why that is. I love New York's energy though. Non-stop, quirky, crazy, insatiable - all the things I am! Hahaha. Anyway, here are some photos from my trip. I wasn't going to post any photos of my boyfriend (he's rabidly private and anti-social networks...hell, he doesn't even know about/read my blog!), but well, just one. Maybe two.

**on the ferry from jersey**

**weird MoMa exhibits**

**some of my fave NYers having dinner at Cafetasia**

**brunch at Poco....A-MA-ZING!!**

**dragged to an architecture museum or something. not gonna lie- it was a tad dry for my tastes**

**pumpkin carving! good job, babe!**

**like a proud mama and her baby!**

**walking through the Highline Park - sooo dope! Must check it out if you're in NYC...they converted abandoned train tracks/station into a park that overlooks the city!**

WINE + REGGAE = HAPPY JOIA

So, Mimi (quite possibly the smallest and craziest human you'll meet) was in town and since we like to let her out the cage from time to time, a big group of us went to the Linganore Wine & Reggae in Mt. Airy, MD. The weather was a perfect fall day, lots of wine and reggae flowing all day long, and I ate some tasty Jamaican food, too! Can't go wrong with that! I think the photos will speak for themselves in explicating just how much fun we had out there...

Yeah, jumping on people's backs is what I do best. I may be thin, but I have waaaaay more limbs than normal people. I may as well be an octopus. Hmm. Moving on...

BIENVENIDOS A MIAMI!!

Another bestie is off the market! **sigh** They grow up so fast. Anyway, so I was a lucky bridesmaid for my friend Leelee's nuptials and they were positively splendid. Believe it or not, this wedding outdid the one in Guatemala. Maybe it was the samba dancers...or the fireworks...or the photo booth....or the mariachi band....OR the candy bar....or the open bar....or the...I dunno. You be the judge.

**I am singing "La Cucaracha - not even kidding**

So, I apologize if all these photos crashed your computer or an entire network. That really wasn't my intention...I'm just so behind with my damn blogs. FYI, if there is a special blogger in your life, you can have their blog turned into a book! I stumbled upon this nifty website while looking for gifts for someone else. It's called Blog 2 Print and it's a great way to have your blog as a more personal keepsake! I'm ordering mine and now I can have something tangible to flip through.

Alright folks, guess I'll be seeing you after finals - in about 3 weeks! Happy Turkey Day to everyone and have a safe, overly-stuffed holiday!

Until then,

J

Opportunity Knocking

2010-10-06T12:30:00.000-04:00

Sorry for the delay, folks! School has picked up quite a bit and I feel like I'm drowning in books. I wake up and read til class, come home from class and read til the wee hours, sleep, and repeat. I envy my working friends on most days because at least they know what the weekend looks like. Anyway, in between all the madness, I've started writing articles for an ESL website, bestowing my Korea advice to those who actually care. I've only done a couple so far, but I plan to contribute until I run out of things to say. So, here are my first two articles about what to expect in Korea and what to pack. As usual, a little bit of humor goes a long way.

"I Made it to Korea! Now what??"

"Leave the (12 Sticks of) Deodorant, Take the Shoes: Packing for Korea Made Simple"

If I ever have time to reorganize my blog, I'll try to isolate advice-oriented posts from others. I tend to get the same questions asked over and over so perhaps I can save everyone a little time. I haven't done much traveling lately except for a trip to VA beach with the bf a few weeks ago. It was just what the doctor ordered, too. I've been pulling out my hair from stress and I think he noticed my bald patch and offered up a vacation as the cure. It worked. It's been a solid two years since I've been on a beach. Why would anyone wait that long?! Beats me, but I won't go that long without sun, sand, and beer again! Another highlight was my wonderful host was half-Korean and made delicious Korean food!! Score!

Sorry this is so short, but I've got to hit ~~myself with~~ the books again. :(

Until then,

J

REPOST: Guatemala Trip

2010-09-16T00:59:00.005-04:00

For a while, I had another blog which was a continuation of my life after Korea. However, it's private (and unfortunately will stay that way). BUT I was re-reading some stuff and found my posts from my trip to Guatemala last year and thought I'd share. I was there for a wedding and brought along my bestie, Meeka. There are three parts but I will combine them because I am lazy. Lol. Hope you enjoy these shenanigans! :)

Until then,

J

"To Guate and Back - Parte Uno"

Hola todos! I have returned from the land of Guatemalan-ness. Ok, I've been back for over a week and I apologize in advance, Facebook friends, that you've probably already seen these pics. But what a fabulous, much-needed trip I had! It was short, sweet, and jam-packed full of stuff so I'll get to it...

First of all, Guatemala doesn't seem like it's that far away on a map, but the plane ride is about 7-8 hours. I know you're thinking, "But you flew to KOREA, many times!!" But the difference was drugs. I, unlike Meeka, didn't drug myself for it because I knew I'd be groggy. But in hindsight, I think a little grogginess would've been better than white-knuckling it during the turbulence. I'm still a crappy flier. So we arrived in Guatemala City after a short flight delay. This is not one of those English-friendly places either. Everyone spoke to us as if we knew Spanish and that was an adjustment for sure. I haven't been bombarded with the language since 2004. We exited the terminal and it was mass chaos. People crowded behind rickety gates yelling for familia, cabbies offering up rides to No Man's Land as if it were a seedy, red light district proposition, and Meeka and I looking starry-eyed amidst it all. I'd forgotten my contacts back home, Meeka is half-blind anyway, and my glasses are pretty old so I couldn't see the designated sign with my name on it. I sensed that people thought we were crazy because we walked carefully from cabbie-to-cabbie, squinting at the signs for a glimpse of recognition. Once we finally found it, we were whisked off, leaving behind the madness of the city.

Along the hour ride to Antigua, I was reminded of my initial landing in Guadalajara all those years ago. I was just excited to be in a new country, experiencing somebody else's culture. We passed by some U.S. staples like Chuck E. Cheese, a mall with a Zara, Burger King, and big car dealerships. But on the whole, Guate City felt much like Manila and what I imagine other crowded, developing countries feel like - kinda dirty and dangerous, like there's a seedy underbelly lurking around the corner. The Guatemalan government is concerned about crime, poverty, public safety and a host of other issues. So it's not so surprising that pollution from fuel emissions ranks low on the priority list. I fully understand it, but it didn't make inhaling black smog any more enjoyable. I was kind of thankful to escape the city.....and boy, did we escape!

In one word, Antigua is adorable. It is rustic, beautiful and cushioned perfectly between ancient volcanos. It is a sublime backdrop for love and romance, fit for a lavish wedding. Instantly, I thought of those historical romance novels I'd always read prematurely - the cobblestoned streets (which are dangerous in flats and heels alike), the rainbow-colored buildings, the handwoven arts and crafts all contributed to the overwhelming sense that this town had been perfectly preserved since 1524. Natural disasters hadn't destroyed the natural beauty. Our hotel, the Meson Panza Verde, seemed to be carved from the middle of a rainforest. It was that lush and tropical-feeling.

**in the hotel lobby**

So, we dropped our things and went in search of food and souvenirs. We found a cute, nearly abandoned restaurant called Cielo. It was quite large and our waiter treated us like we'd just peed on her leg, but the food was remarkable!

**Having lunch at Cielo**

We walked along the streets, snapping pictures. Went to a few different markets and browsed around. The woven fabrics are very typically Guatemalan so I bought a picture frame and a change purse. I even sat in a Jesus-shaped chair. I probably would've bought it if it had matched my decor. I can imagine the awkward conversation at my housewarming:

Me: Hi! So glad you could make it! Make yourself comfortable...

Guest: Oh, thanks! **looks for a seat** Umm...is that, uh, is that Jesus?

Me: Why, yes! It's a souvenir from Guatemala! Nifty huh??

Guest: **laughs nervously** Yeah, uh, where's your bathroom?

Me: Straight back, first door on the left. I also bought a matching Jesus toilet seat so He'll know if you're full of sh*t!

Guest: **praying quietly to leave**

You know, I'm not trying to be that one. So I passed on the Jesus chair. :) But did take a pic!

Rustic buildings along La Quinta Avenida (5th Ave)...I believe they are Mayan ruins.

***Hanging out with my friend, Ti, in her hotel suite (at the same hotel)***

Her room was massive with high ceilings and a bathroom that I wouldn't be ashamed to sleep in. I'm not kidding...

**Cute carvings in a shop window**

The rest of the day and night, we had dinner at a Guatemalan restaurant. Three people can eat very well, very cheaply in Antigua including a bottle of wine. I was quite pleased with day one....on to day 2...and dirty mules! :)

"To Guate and Back - Parte Dos"

Let's pretend there wasn't a 5-week delay between these posts k?! Where was I? Oh yes, so the second day in Guate, we woke up semi-early (meaning Meeka woke up at 6 because of some allergy-related attack and I slept obliviously til 9) to have breakfast at the adorable dining room. This little abuela made tamales and served us fresh juice and fruit. She was precious!!

**The rooftop terrace of our hotel**

So after breakfast, we decided to walk to the local coffee plantation. It didn't seem that far, but walking 2.5 miles down dusty roads in 90-degree weather has a way of tiring you out. Along the way, we passed gorgeous mountains, brightly-colored buildings, and a bustling market. All very picturesque.

**on the way to the coffee plantation, Finca Filadelfia**

**outside the plantation**

Naturally, whenever Meeka and I get together, we have to do some random things. Seeing a coffee plantation is nothing to write home about...but seeing it on the back of a recalcitrant donkey? Well, that's a story your grandkids will be begging you to tell over and over again. Oh, yes. So, they named all the donkeys after democratic presidents and their wives. Meeka's was Jackie O. and I chose Hillary. Something should've told me that she would be especially stubborn, but I threw caution to the wind. Hell, I was in Guatemala! After getting directions from Esteban about how to handle Hillary, I thought there wouldn't be any problems. Pull the string to the left and that's the way she goes...up will make her stop and so on. Easy right??

**oh Hillary**

**ready to ride!**

**all smiles...for now!**

Not even 10 minutes into the tour, this crazy donkey is apparently starving and keeps stopping off on the side of the road to eat weeds. I'm thinking, "Hmmm, ok...well just this once is okay..." But NO, that heifer takes off galloping through the fields in search of MORE FOOD!!! I'm flailing and waving my arms, trying to pull up to make her stop and she is completely ignoring me. Esteban and the other kid who was helping us were trying to corral her back to the pathway and I could only shriek in terror as I imagined her pitching me onto the rocky road below. Now, you may be wondering why there are no pictures of this incident and that's because Meeka was laughing way too hard to snap any. I, obviously, was trying not to die. For the rest of the ride, I was terrified that she was going to flip out again. When you're 6,000 feet up a mountain, the last thing you wanna think about is your donkey going buckwild. Simply put, she was a jerk. A hungry jerk at that. I guess I can check that off my list though! So, if you ever go to Antigua and do a plantation tour by donkey-back, DON'T ride Hillary. Part 3...la boda! :)

**stopped for a break, volcano smoking in the back**

"To Guate and Back - Parte Tres"

My friend had an evening wedding and to say this was the most elaborate wedding I'd ever witnessed would be a gross understatement. It was beautiful, immaculate, and a ton of fun.

**at our hotel, ready to head out**

**the grounds of Casa Santo Domingo, where the wedding was held**

**two of my coworkers...the altar and ceremony were inside Guatemalan ruins**

**a little blurry but you get the idea!**

**the beautiful bride and her father**

The ceremony was traditionally Roman Catholic, with a lot of "amens", kneeling, praying, and even communion! It was also in Spanish. I understood most of it, but I definitely blanked out on some parts because I would get engrossed in my surroundings. Many times I would just stop and think, "Wow, I'm in Guatemala...sitting inside of ancient ruins...at a wedding!" It was quite an experience and I enjoyed every minute.

**the happily married couple!**

Right after the ceremony, there was a cocktail hour where mojitos and fruity drinks flowed like rivers. I believe this is formally referred to as Heaven.

**I totally broke up their conversation to snap a pic...so many good-looking people in one place! And they actually ended up sitting at our table anyway, go figure!**

The reception was even better!! Equally splendid, it was held in the same hotel but in a huge banquet hall. The food was served buffet style with a pasta station, meat carving station, salad, side dishes and everything in between. I definitely had seconds...maybe thirds!

The live band was great, too! They played a lot of Latin music which got folks moving. Meeka put the moves on a ~~fetus~~ young kid and the old-timers got in some salsa, too!

**even I joined the conga line!**

Later in the evening, there was a Michael Jackson impersonator and a tequila fountain! What more could you ask for?! It was a great way to end the night and the weekend! So if you decide to visit Antigua, don't wear heels and don't mess with Hillary the mule. That is all. :)

**a fountain of tequila**

Whoop, There It Ain't!

2010-08-24T12:48:00.005-04:00

If you thought whooping cough was some medieval ailment cured by magic potions and sorcery, you'd be wrong. It's modern-day, folks and guess who was lucky enough to get it?! Yes.......be very jealous. But seriously, I noticed the morning after my birthday that my throat was feeling a little dry and scratchy. I ignored it for about 2 weeks until I got back home and had a violent coughing attack, seemingly out of nowhere. Tears streaming down my face, gasping (literally whooping, trying to catch a breath), clutching the side of the sink thinking that these were my final moments. Lemme tell you - if you've never been on the verge of suffocating, it's a truly horrific experience and one that got me to a doctor real quick-like. I had no idea when an attack would come again but I wanted drugs to start dealing with it. Another wonderful side effect is that you're highly contagious, something I'm sure those folks on Korean Air would've liked to have known about. But alas, I didn't know.

So, anyway, I've been nursing this thing for the past 10 days or so, took all my meds (which I am not convinced actually did anything but what do I know?) and got lots of rest. I do feel better and it only bothers me in the mornings. Here's a little snippet of a young girl having a fit of whooping cough. Poor thing sounds like she's going to die - which is precisely what I sounded like, too. Scary! Almost activates my whooping cough just listening to it!

But anyway, you may have noticed that I'm back in the US now after finishing up my internship. School has started which means so has the ceaseless banging of my head against hard surfaces. Today I spent aaaaaallllllll day in my pajamas, reading and drifting in and out of slumber. I did "sit and take nourishment", as my Dad says, but a general lethargy has overtaken my faculties. I hope to snap out of that pretty soon. Hope.

Anyway, the last few weeks have been eventful so I'll post some pics. I love that I have so many new and "seasoned" (I hate the word "old") readers, but now I feel an immense pressure to update when, in reality, I won't have the time. :( So here's also hoping that you all won't stage a mutiny or anything. Trust me, if I could find a way to spend all my days just writing (non-foreign policy related stuff) and updating my blog, I surely would. Actually, there are people who get paid to do that - I'm just not that smart. So, here goes - a short wrap-up! :)

Until then,

J

**Final intern dinner and our food of choice? Chicken and beer...**

**outside a cute cafe near Hongdae with a funky mural...and the answer is always yes...**

**the bf is teaching me how to sail, bless his heart...**

**another of my besties is getting married so we had her bridal shower - so beautiful!**

**complete surprise!! we're awesome...**

27.

2010-08-16T23:00:00.000-04:00

I couldn't think of anything remotely original for this title so I wrote my age. And because I just turned 27, I thought I'd reflect...or say something introspective about where I was 2 years ago when I turned 25 and where I am now at 27. For one, I think celebrating your birthday on a remote tropical island pretty much trumps everything. To be honest, twenty-seven feels a little different but not much. It's a rather obscure age - not the same fanfare as 25 or 30 (I assume). My life has taken many twists and turns since two years ago - some serendipitous, some horrific and scary but all unexpectedly leading me to this moment of contentedness. I feel like things are in order on all fronts for once and for that, I'm grateful.

There's little doubt that I came to Korea at a vulnerable time in my life. People always ask me why I chose Korea out of all the places on Earth and it was a matter of finances. Yes, that's right. Korea had money to be made and opportunities to be explored - perhaps I realized a little of the American dream here. Before I came to Korea, I met an ex in Seattle. He and I shared a particularly long and emotionally draining 3-year "situation" that carried on in limbo after graduation (at least in my head). I went to visit him either hoping to find "closure" or to re-kindle something special - neither of which happened. But he said to me in the wee hours of the night, as we lay there staring at the ceiling and realizing this was the end of our story, that he hoped I found what I was looking for in Korea. That stuck with me and I've carried it around with me since then. What was I looking for in Korea? Was I just another lost foreigner who couldn't hack it back home and felt the need to put multiple oceans between myself and reality? Was I running from something? Yes, I was. Most people probably hightail it to a beach or some remote location when they need to get away - I traipsed to a new land where I didn't speak the language. Crazy or genius? The jury's still out but at least it put me on the right path. I've learned a lot in Korea this time, too. For example, being an intern is a title that doesn't carry much weight here (or maybe anywhere, for that matter). I found myself in uncomfortable situations where I was immediately discounted perhaps because of my title, my gender, or my race - a potential trifecta of insignificance in Korean society. Like before though, I found many Koreans to be friendly and welcoming toward me. I consider it my second hometown.

A large part of me hoped I would be able to relive my old Korea days, with many of the same people and personalities from before. But of course, this did not happen. Many of my friends had moved on or moved away, leaving me only with memories of our time together. This is a difficult part of living abroad - change. My boyfriend lived in the Bahamas and Jamaica for a bit and he absolutely loved it. He often finds himself longing for those good times and wishing he could live there again, but I explained that he's nostalgic for the people. It is not the place that brings on these feelings of longing as much as the people with whom you shared those memories. His time in Jamaica (much like my time in Korea before) was reinforced and crystallized by the unique time and place I shared with a unique group of individuals. It was my time. He clings to those memories and those people because they all met at a special time. Returning to either place now, without those same people around, would surely disappoint him. I was thankful for all the new relationships I built in Korea this time, but I also found myself longing for old friendships. I thought I'd see Robert more, but he moved to Daegu shortly after we met at Seoul Tower. I did not see any of my kids, which I knew would be a long shot since my hagwon closed down last year. One of my favorite couples now lives in Canada, a fact I discovered only after arriving in Korea. And although many of my girls still live here, there was just never enough time to get around to see them all.

I suppose Korea is a microcosm for life though...and a big reason why Facebook is so popular. People enjoy getting back in touch with old friends and keeping in touch with new ones. A life as a diplomat isn't exactly conducive for someone who abhors goodbyes, but I suppose that's all a part of life...or something. Right? So, I've resolved to just say "until then" :)

Until then,

J

Summer "Sarang"

2010-07-15T17:06:00.018-04:00

Sarang means love in Korean and I think it's an appropriate title for this post...it seems to be EVERYWHERE! Damn horny kids! Just kidding...but I spent last week attending my best friend's wedding in NJ! How beautiful and elegant it was...and I definitely cried like a baby at seeing the first of my besties tie the knot. **sigh** Too many childhood memories to recount. It's kind of funny, but out of our friends, I think she and I were the only ones who never really visualized or talked about our "dream weddings". Some little girls have colors picked out by middle school! I've always had trouble picturing what my wedding would look like, but now I'm almost certain I'll be on a sleepy beach somewhere, barefoot, tanned, and curly afro blowing in the wind. Very intimate, short ceremony so I can get onto dancing and partying. Yup, that sounds nice. :)

Anyway, here are pics from the lovely affair - hopefully none of me crying!

**the bride getting ready**

**bridesmaids in bathrobes!**

**our flowers**

**a toast before the ceremony**

**the groom started to cry and so did i...**

**kiss kiss!**

**love these ladies!**

**my folks going down the Soul Train line - this is surprising to no one...they like to have a good time!**

**the women who raised me**

Korea is still the land of coupledom. I still don't get why men and women don't wear wedding rings when they're married. Just seems like an invitation for infidelity to me. Not that a ring will deter those who want a little kimchi on the side. But now that I'm in a relationship, I can stomach the lovebunnies easier. Sometimes. Suddenly, that hand-holding, piggy-back riding, smooching-at-stop-lights crap becomes endearing. That's right - I've been seeing someone since February and things progressed normally, at a comfortable pace for both of us. And now, things are official. The way it happened was so...normal. I told him I thought there'd be fireworks or fanfare...SOMEthing to signal such a momentous occasion, right? But nope. It was all very quiet and calm, just two people making a decision to take it to the next level. Looks like I may be something of a grown-up after all. But he happens to be Caucasian, which I don't believe comes as a surprise to anyone. Actually, it surprised me. Never thought I'd go to the other end of the spectrum because I assumed (wrongly) that a White guy just wouldn't "get" me, that he wouldn't be able to understand my "Blackness" or.....something....I thought there wouldn't be a common ground or basis for understanding. But I was wrong. I was especially nervous on our second date when I returned from a trip to Spain with my afro out (not like the one pictured above but curlier and...tamer. lol) I thought for sure he'd be turned off by it. But the first thing he said was "Wow, I love your hair" And I mumbled something about how it wasn't acting "right" that night. Over the course of 3-4 months, he saw my hair in every state imaginable - and surprisingly, loved them all. So that earned him pretty big points in my book. Accepting my hair, for whatever reason, is inherent to accepting me, as a whole woman.

Anyway, not sure why I am rambling about that. But I noticed a lot of the traffic to my blog concerns two main searches - teaching in Korea and Korean boys/black women. So obviously, there is a great interest in interracial pairings. In fact, this interest plays out in real life based on the people who stare, sometimes blankly or curiously, when we walk down the street together. He notices it far more than I do. But I think after dating in Korea, nothing bothers me. Haha.

Until then,

J

My Quest for "Kogi" (Meat)

2010-07-07T20:45:00.015-04:00

The last time I was in Korea, I lost a lot of weight. I'm not sure if it was due to my weird work schedule, my psycho gym schedule, or a mild touch of depression, but I was super skinny. I could even wear skinny jeans. Now, my skinny jeans are screaming a bit. I seem to crave meat now....A LOT. If you've never had Korean BBQ, you should. And if you're a vegetarian, it's worth breaking your habit for a day. But my obsession with kogi goes far beyond the normal oh-let's-have-some-on-the-weekends type of thinking. I want grilled meat almost everyday. Because I have a smidgen of dignity left, I don't indulge myself everyday but I want to. I cannot figure out why I just cannot control myself and I worry about returning to the States and not having daily access and wafts of grilled goodness. I've grown to love all kinds of Korean grilled meat, like cha-dol-beh-gi, thinly sliced beef, looks like bacon and tastes like heaven...I especially like this type of meat because it cooks quickly and thereby gets to my mouth faster, too.

**Cha-dol-beh-gi**

**Mok-sal**

Then there is mok-sal, the neck (and hence meatier) portion of the pig. Sam-gyup-sal is quite popular but it's too fatty in my opinion. I like lean kogi. :)

**I thought eating grilled meat the night of the Korea/Uruguay game would help the Red Devils win - it did not. But I ate well anyway!**

**with my "dong-seng" (little brother), eating grilled meat in Hongdae**

**Roomie Regina showing off the goods...**

**Regina's friend from Sweden prepared some traditional summer meal with lots of fish, alcohol, eggs, and tomato/mozzarella....hello food coma!**

**traditional Korean meal at Korea House, a government owned historical restaurant**

**Having some beers near Apgujeong**

**Enjoying some cheesy chicken deliciousness at a spot in Hongdae...the beer cups were actually old US military cups...kinda neat**

**Eating BBQ chicken (tak-galbi) with English teachers**

So yes, my quest for grilled kogi in Korea continues. I actually think it is more the total experience that I love - the smells flowing from the window, sitting down and seeing the grill (mouth starts watering), setting the table (with metal chopsticks, napkin, and spoon), looking at the menu to select the types of meat, ordering alcohol, etc. Everything just relaxes me and my mind equates grilled meat (and I guess food in general) with relaxation. Weird huh? Oh well, my jeans will just keep on screaming because I'm not giving up my kogi. :)

I also saw some interesting advertisements on the subway for plastic surgery. I must admit, simplicity sells. But something just seems....wrong about these? Plastic surgery is rampant in Korea so I cannot say I am surprised at all, but many of the surgeries, to me, are to "westernize" their features (like the eyes and facial structure). And honestly, I love Asian features so I guess I don't understand the obsession with changing that. I dunno, you be the judge.

**Change your breast**

**Change your facial bone**

**And my favorite - change your eyes**

Until then,
J

"So, Is That Weave?"

2010-06-24T08:19:00.005-04:00

It's been a long time since anyone has come right out and asked if my hair was real, but alas, the lull was broken recently. For my job, we did a program with middle schoolers so on our way back from lunch, I sat in the back with a group of giggly girls. All except one girl who was very stern-faced but pretty with high cheek bones, freckles, and dimples. She and I chatted about how she's moving to a new high school next year and she's nervous because none of her friends will be there. I told her not to worry about it, that she'd make friends in no time! Then she lamented her "awful" English and how all of the new kids would tease her. I saw that she was getting quite depressed about it so I tried to give her a pep talk. Then she turns to me, cocks her head to one side and asks:

"So, is that weave?"

**pause** First of all, if your English is so bad, why the devil do you know the word weave?! Obviously, you've been watching enough BET or Real Housewives of Atlanta to know about weave! Second, really??? But none of this registered on my face. I just looked back at her, smiled sweetly and said, "No, it is not a weave. These are called twists." But she wouldn't relent. Here's how the conversation went (and I'm sure all my sistas know exactly what's about to go down)

HER: Yeah, but I mean, that's fake hair. That's not your REAL hair.

**thinking to myself** You little twerp...

ME: Well, technically, no it is not all my hair. I am just giving my hair a rest for now.

HER: Oh. But like, how do you wash it? **starts rubbing her hair as if to demonstrate to me how to wash hair**

ME: **starting to boil** Well, how exactly do you wash YOUR hair? With shampoo and water right? So do I.

HER: **not giving up** But like, isn't it hard to wash it deep? What about your scalp and stuff?

ME: **seething** Ok, sweetie, I understand your natural curiosity around my hair. After all, there aren't many people who look like me walking around. I get it. But I wash my hair just like you do. It's still hair.

HER: Hmph. **mutters to herself** I see.

~*~ 5 minutes pass~*~

HER: So, then, that's weave or not?

ME: Oh, look, we've arrived! Time to get off the bus!

Never in the history of me getting my hair twisted/braided has there been this much interest. I swear, I am going to write a manual for people, once and for all, so that a Black woman never has to be asked stupid hair questions. The weave question doesn't bother me as much as the "do you wash it?" question. That sends my blood boiling in 2 hot seconds. I'm probably a lot more lenient and patient with people, too...even strangers. Yes, I have let strange people touch my hair simply to satisfy their curiosity and get on with it. I realize most Black women would probably cuss them out and send them packing, but I recognize the ignorance and try to be open-minded. But my patience is running thin. I dunno what's going to happen when I unleash this afro in a few weeks....

Anyway, I had hoped to attend a Korean wedding last weekend, but work called. Pretty bummed about that. Instead, I ate and drank every night! I tell you, last time I was in Korea, I lost quite a bit of weight but it is completely reversed this time around. I am gorging myself on grilled meat, kimchi, and other miscellaneous Korean food that I missed all this time. Thank goodness I'm still working out to counteract this madness. I feel like time is going by too quickly now. It's almost July and I haven't done many of the things I planned so I've gotta get on with it. I will do a temple stay at some point!

This weekend should be good. World Cup Fever continues - Korea beat Nigeria to advance to the Round of 16 so on Saturday, they'll play Uruguay. I'll be out for that. And congrats to the US, too!! They'll play Ghana and hopefully emerge victorious. If, by some miracle, Korea beats Uruguay and the US beats Ghana, US and Korea will meet up! **GASP** I'll be so torn...but anyway, this scenario is unlikely.

Alright kiddies, sorry I don't have pics, but give me advice on how to handle stupid hair questions. Please and thank you.

Until then,
J

Red Fever and Old Friends

2010-06-15T09:10:00.024-04:00

I'm determined to update before I go to bed - let's hope my eyes feel the same way. The past few weeks have been jam-packed with stuff. In case you've been dead or buried under books or living like Tom Hanks in Castaway, you know the World Cup has enraptured, well...the world! South Korea has an especially hearty fan base...and by hearty I mean absolutely crazy. I have officially caught the red fever this time....and I don't particularly care for soccer. But after being in downtown Seoul during the Korea/Greece game, I'm officially hooked. I was screaming and hollering like everyone! The slogans are not wonderful (this year the theme is "Shouting Korea"), but the fervor and love for the national team is unparalleled, except maybe in Europe or Brazil. This Thursday, they play Argentina so I'm sure folks will be out again in full force.

**the City Hall subway station, flooded with fans and gear!! It was madness!!**

**my friend Gina and I at an event downtown...we got to watch the game from a hotel party**

**the view from the 31st floor of the hotel - yes, those are people! Probably a few thousand - awesome energy!**

**Superstar Park Jisung, celebrating after scoring a goal...Korea won 2-0**

**young fans wrapped in Korea flags and rockin' stilettos - loved them!!**

After the game, we headed to Itaewon with some other friends. Lots of rowdy foreigners flooded the subway stations and poured into Itaewon. I was soooooo tired by then, but I kept the party going at some fun gay clubs! They never disappoint! :)

Aside from WC fever, I met up with some old friends!! What happy reunions! First up was my old kindergarten director and colleague. We headed out to Bucheon to visit Ainsworld, a small park that has replicas of many world monuments. It was actually a lot of fun despite the cruddy weather...and I got to see the whole world in an hour. Hehe.

**the Leaning Tower of Pizza!!**

**Behind us is the lost city of Atlantis and this was my favorite exhibit because it sank every 5 mins - genius!!**

I also hung out with Robert! Our meetings are always spur-of-the-moment and this time was no different. I had been out with coworkers after work and he said, "Hey, wanna go to Seoul Tower tonight?!" OF COURSE I DO!! Lol. I was kicking myself for never going to the THE most recognizable landmark in South Korea last time so I was excited to go, especially at night. It was awesome, too. We hopped a bus and climbed a steep hill for about 10 mins (felt like 10 years) before we reached the top. What a view. I shall let the pictures speak for themselves. But it was great to see Robert and finally see Seoul Tower!

**Looks like Seoul's on fire - night lights are outta control!**

**Inspired by a Korean drama, couples flock to the top of Seoul Tower to inscribe their names on locks and throw away the key - a symbol of their eternal love. Cute right??**

It's late and I will pay the price tomorrow at work when I'm passed out at my desk, but mission accomplished! :) Upcoming events - a Korean wedding and celeb ~~stalking~~ spotting!

Until then,

J

City Strollin'

2010-05-31T18:34:00.007-04:00

I spent a day strolling around Seoul with my roomie and these are things we saw.

**Creativity at its finest - it's a restaurant called The Restaurant (in Samcheong-dong) with little indication of the actual cuisine served. Loves it**

**A mother/son ping pong championship...so cute! Mama kicked his you-know-what!**

**This was a Muy Thai competition I believe...some type of martial arts. Very interesting because the guy in white was doing so well...then he got hit with a roundhouse kick/neck grab combo and that was the end of that. Womp**

**According to my roommate, this sign is protesting the closing down of this cafe, allegedly by the government. The reasons behind it are unclear, but I just liked the handwriting...lol**

**Graffiti in Insa-dong says "Ha Yu-rim loves Dylan Lee. All together now: Awwwwww!! **

**A 3-on-3 basketball tourney in Yongsan. I know what you're thinking and actually, the Koreans were killin' it. One of the black dudes was playing in JEANS! C'mon man, you can try a little bit. That's why yall got embarrassed. Shameful. **

**Lovely flowers near City Hall - I'm a semi-nature lover..**

**An artist's work outside the Seoul Museum of Art...**

**This is not an optical illusion....well sorta. These sculptures were intentionally built stunted and exaggerated like this...I kept blinking and rubbing my eyes because I thought my contacts had gone haywire. It's probably the coolest thing I've seen in a long time. If anyone knows the name for this, I'd be glad to know!**

**A whale and a pig...made out of kitchenware! There are pots, pans, spoons, etc....how ironic that a pig would be made of kitchen utensils because that's probably where he'll end up anyway - on my plate. Womp. **

**The exhibit on Rodin - he's most famous for "The Thinking Man". I explained to David (who went with me) that we joke he's actually on the toilet, thinking about why nothing will come out. He busted out laughing, embarrassed us, and was simultaneously shushed by the docent and glared at by serious art lovers. Classic!!**

**Interesting artwork outside the museum...stilettos with a horse attached. I bet Korean women would wear these actually...**

**A hen with eggs inside...and I believe those are lightbulbs so at night, this exhibit must look pretty cool**

**Aliens????**

Such a wonderful day just strolling around and capturing all the random things going on! Never a dull moment...luckily, this weather has been phenomenal. It belies the approaching monsoon season, but for now, I'm not complaining. Just trying to capture it.

One cute thing happened on the way home. I believe my hair grabs more attention than anything about me. So, on the way home, I was riding the subway with my roommate and this young teenage guy walks up to her and asks 1) if she speaks Korean and 2) if her friend (me) would mind if his girlfriend took a picture with me. I actually understood what he was asking so I said of course! The poor girl was sooooooooo shy and just kept giggling and putting her hand over her mouth as she got closer to me. It was the strangest, cutest thing though! This must be how celebrities feel when their fans have a really strong reaction huh?! Like if I ever met Will Smith, I would probably faint. Lol...I'm no Beyonce, but to that little girl, I must've made her whole day! So we took a couple of pictures and she went back to her boyfriend, fanning herself, blushing, and giggling all over again. Quite adorable! No idea what spurred that kind of reaction in her, but I'm certain it was because of my weird hair and brown skin. Outside of that, I'm at a loss.

Sorry for the lazy posting! I'm headed out to see Sex and the City 2 - FINALLY!! I realize the plotline probably sucks but I'm all about the outfits and in that department, I'm sure this movie will not disappoint. :)

Until then,

J

Seoul of Korea, Heart of Asia

2010-05-23T00:10:00.014-04:00

**the 63 Building**

**On the bus, headed through the city**

**my first night, hanging out with my friend Aeri and Choco!**

In the most wired country on Earth, your homegirl did not have internet for the past THREE WEEKS. Crazy, isn't it?!

It feels cool being back in Korea, almost like I never left. I still remember random things, like my favorite bag stores! I've seen several of my friends who are still here and I've met some new ones. My job is awesome and keeps me traveling a bit. Great co-workers definitely help. I've done a lot of walking so far because the weather has been perfect. I know the muggy monsoon season is around the corner so I am taking advantage of these opportunities to explore Seoul a bit. I'll try to recap the past few weeks; otherwise this post will be insanely long.

1) Picnic in Yeouido (pronounced Yo-EE-doh)

My first weekend back, I stayed in Itaewon with one of my girlfriends. While I was waiting for her, this small group of Korean students walked up to me and asked for an interview about living in Korea. Then they wanted a picture. Ah, it's good to be back! Anywho, my friend lives up a crazy steep hill so just imagine me dragging two suitcases, a computer bag, and a backpack up this thing. Nearly broke my neck. And I'm sure no one would have batted an eyelash at some crazy foreigner tumbling down a hill. But she has a cute little Yorkie named Choco so I got to kick it with them. Later that day (Saturday was it?? May 15th I think), we met up with some of her other friends and had a little picnic in Yeouido. This area is sort of the financial hub of Seoul, with a lot of banking headquarters nearby. But it's also near the Han River and prime for picnicking! I basically roasted and the jetlag hit me pretty hard in the middle of the afternoon but good times all around.

**SNACKS!!**

**me and my girl Lu**

We also headed to Hongdae that night for some grilled meat! I surely missed Korean prices. For $35 bucks total, the five of us gorged ourselves on side dishes and roasted cow. Lol. It was pretty packed in Hongdae that night. I had my fun clubbing in Hongdae back in 2008, but I definitely can't hang like that anymore. But I do love their cafes and artsy stuff. I'll be back for shopping though!

2) Wandering near City Hall

Buddha's birthday is a national holiday so I decided to just wander around City Hall. The Lotus Lantern Festival is a popular event and I went last time I was here with Meeka and some other folks. It was great, but I did not partake this year. But there were still plenty of people roaming around the city and I enjoyed my own company! :)

**little kiddies playing in the water**

**a palace...wish I remembered the name. Sorry!**

**Seoul - World Design Capital 2010 Building**

**triangle kimbap! that's crunchy seaweed (called kim) on the outside and the inside is stuffed with rice (bap), kimchi, and tuna...yum!!**

**Usher's coming to Seoul! Probably won't go though...**

**ummmm, it looked pretty? Not sure what it is though!**

**floating lanterns down the river**

**a giant sneaker made of Asics**

3) Back to Busan

For work, I got to travel to Busan for a conference. The first time I went to Busan was with my girls. I had a wonderful time because of them, but overall, I wasn't crazy about the city. Besides, I'd gone over Chuseok holiday and it was pretty barren. But this time around, it was wonderful and lively. I wished I could have spent more time there because it was totally different. There's still nowhere quite like Seoul, but Busan is a pretty cool place...and who can argue with the beach?! :) Plus, riding the KTX high speed train in first class was quite a treat!

Even though Korea is much the same, a lot is different. Seoul is hosting this year's G20 Summit in November, which is a huge deal. Preparations are apparent all over the city. With over 1 million foreigners (in a country of 47 million), it is changing and I think it's for the better. Some people might begrudge this foreign presence, but if Korea's ambitions to be a global power are to be fulfilled, this transition becomes a necessary step. It must accept and accommodate different types of people and so far, I think the government is making a strong statement. Now, it is up to the citizens to either follow its lead or not. As a testament to that growing diversity, when I was in Itaewon for an hour, I heard Urdu (from the Pakistani guys at the cell phone place), French (from the Cameroonian ladies who braid my hair), Turkish (at the kebab shop), and of course English and Korean. It's really interesting. Not saying I couldn't hear all of those languages and more in DC, but it's really noticeable here now. There is a beautiful convergence of cultures and it's only going to grow. In my opinion, Seoul is really the heart of East Asia. While Tokyo still keeps its cool, Seoul is roaring into the spotlight and for me, it's just nice to have a front row seat for the show. :)

Until then,

J

Eating Myself Silly

2010-05-11T01:30:00.004-04:00

Seoul in 3 days.

But for the past week, I've been engaging in decidedly destructive behavior - continuous eating and drinking. Now, I loooovvvveee food. There is no hate relationship with food, just love. And that love is starting to show up around my midsection. This is one reason why I can't wait to get back to Asia and shed some pounds. With the end of finals, it's been all about eating, celebrating, and drinking around the clock and I AM TIRED. I feel like that very hungry caterpillar who ate everything. I've been trying to do damage control and you know I'll be searching for a gym upon arrival. All of my friends in America want to send me off with well wishes and all my friends in Korea want to welcome me with soju. And I have no problems with either of those!!

The packing isn't going all that great because I am being lazy. For one, there will be no frantic unloading and repacking of bags at Dulles this time around. That was horrific. I mean, I packed 12 sticks of deodorant before!! What a waste! So, I know what to pack and what to buy when I arrive and that's considerably less stressful. I will be bringing a separate bag for shoes though....and purses. I can't wait to hunt for purses again!! Anyway, I'm rambling. Just wanted to update and share pics from my friend's birthday dinner. Love her!

By the way, if any of the other Black bloggers in Korea would like to have an official meetup, I'd love to help organize it! I feel like I've either met or emailed with a large portion of you and I'd actually like to get all of us in a room and do one big blog (perhaps a video blog) about what we've all learned and loved about Korea. Anyone down???? :) Let me know!

Until then,
J

Alone in a Room

2010-05-03T19:32:00.014-04:00

I just submitted my last final for the semester and I immediately poured myself a glass of wine. What a relief to be finished! Now I can focus on getting ready for Korea. To get myself into that frame of mind again, I attended a lecture today at The Brookings Institute, a local think tank here in DC. It was the 4th Annual Seoul-Washington Forum and this year's topic was Korea's global role, Northeast Asia, and, of course, North Korea. Not surprisingly, I was the only Black person in a room of roughly 60-70 people. I felt instantly catapulted back to my first time in Korea. That sense of exclusion, of being foreign, was palpable. To make matters worse (or perhaps it was just my perception), no one sat next to me! I had an entire row to myself while many rows around me were filling up. Someone eventually did sit down....a young, Korean man. But he sat at the very opposite end, as far away from me as possible. No one really even looked at me. In fact, one older gentleman basically stepped on me trying to talk to someone else. Also, a lot of the people in attendance were older...MUCH older. These folks were most likely around when Korea was divided 60 years ago.

But my larger point, and one that was brought home once again, is that there appears to be a mutual disinterest and disconnect among these two cultures beyond the level of music and martial arts. At the policy and governmental level, there is a marked absence of people of color. Korean issues are dominated by Whites and Koreans. From what I can tell, there are no [visible] Latinos or African Americans or Southeast Asians with their hands in Korean issues. Now, to be honest, had I not lived there for a year, I'm quite certain you could have counted me in this demographic as well. But now that I have, it bothers me that there are so few people of color dealing with Asian issues in general. I'm sure that China and Japan have more of a following among blacks, but in general, the attendance is sparse. An older black gentleman arrived late (lol) and I kind of sighed with relief because I was no longer alone representing my race. The atmosphere was the same when I attended another conference at the Korea Economic Institute here last December. I was the only black person. At least a nice, older lady sat next to me and we chatted a bit. But it can be rather intimidating. It's a strange feeling and one to which I've yet to grow accustomed. Overall, I enjoyed the forum and it was a good primer for the breadth of issues I'll be dealing with this summer. However, I would like to see a little more "representation" on Asian issues. :)

I've been pretty busy over the last few weeks. One of my best friends had her bridal shower held in our hometown. It was like a mini-reunion for all the bridesmaids and the mothers. I'm not even going to tell you how much crap I ate, but I had to loosen up my pants later on.

**Bride-to-be and her mama***

**my momma and bride-to-be's mama**

**Bride-to-be and the bridesmaids...well, most of us***

One day, I snuck off to meet up with some friends who I hadn't seen in a long time. We had drinks and let off some steam at the W Hotel's rooftop bar. Then we headed over to a dingy, basement chicken bar with horrific service (our waitress had a lip ring, a deep voice, and a funky attitude). But it was still a lot of fun because I love these people!

Two weeks ago, I went to Pittsburgh for another best friend's graduation from business school! She was awarded a plaque in honor of her outstanding service to the school, which was a nice surprise. Another not-so-welcome surprise was her ex-boyfriend, someone I had purged from my mental Rolodex a long time ago. He claimed to be "supporting" her, but whatever. I was cordial. I rarely give people the cold shoulder, but it was very necessary in this case.

Then last weekend, I was in NYC for about 7 hours. I was only there for Jar and dad's birthday party and still had a lot of ground to cover on my finals. I hopped a train and got there in time to start celebrating around 11. I stayed out til my train came around 630am and guess where I ended up?? Koreatown! Hahaha, go figure.

Anyway, good times all around. Now that finals are over, I have my freedom back! Even if you go to the same place, no two journeys are ever the same. I can't wait for this new one to begin! 9 days and counting....

Until then,
J

Seoul-Bound, Part 2

2010-04-13T00:25:00.004-04:00

I've started the countdown, folks. That's right, in about 4 weeks, I'll be headed back to Korea. I'm soooooooooo excited! I don't know if my yellow fever has subsided or not, but I guess we'll see. I'm now obsessed with Korean dramas and will be on the look out for celebrities (who I can actually recognize now). What's going to make this time around more exciting (I think) is that I'm more familiar with the city so I'll be able to understand more and converse more in Korean (hopefully). I also hope to visit the provinces in Korea, not just Seoul. I intend to see my old stomping grounds and have an especially great reunion with my old friends. Some of my girls are still around while others have moved back home to the U.S. or to other military assignments in Iraq. Robert's back from Australia and we've been emailing quite a bit. Last we spoke, he was backpacking through Europe for a few weeks. Can't wait to hear about that! I've also been in touch with my old kindergarten school. I believe my friend Mary is still there and if I'm lucky, maybe some of the babies are, too! I still miss them.

My life has been amazingly well. I'm finishing up my second semester of grad school. I traveled a little for spring break to Barcelona. Gorgeous city!! I would love to return when it's warmer for sure. I'm hoping some folks can visit me in Korea again this summer. I always love when people visit Asia for the first time. I think it's eye-opening. Ironically, two close friends of mine want to teach in Korea now and they've been asking me for advice. And I still get emails from people who want to do the same so keep it up!! :) Any reason to procrastinate on some of my schoolwork is okay with me.

Well, I'll add some pics from Barcelona because I know that's what you're used to! I chopped off all my hair shortly after returning from Korea so I'm all natural now. I can't wait to see the reactions from Koreans. I'm sure I'll get lots of random people touching me. Yikes!

Until then,
J

Have You Missed Me?? :)

2009-12-06T11:11:00.011-05:00

Hey Everyone!

I haven't updated on this site for a long time! I'm in grad school now (as you can see from the books behind me and the general defeat in my eyes) and it's kicking my you-know-what. If you'll recall from my bucket list, I had a few things I wanted to accomplish. By 2011, I'll have checked off "get a Master's in International Relations" and "State Dept". Sweet! Anyway, I just wanted to thank you all for continuing to email me your questions and comments. I absolutely love getting them. Amidst all the spam for Viagra and "Mature Singles", your emails are a ray of sunshine. I figured I would share some good news! For one, I did a cool interview with a new online magazine called Izle (eye-zle) about life in Korea. The creator is a super-talented writer and media maven. For her first issue, she decided to ~~lose her marbles~~ interview me! I emailed my family and told them and my mom said, "Good interview, but why do you say "like" so much???" Hahaha...to which my reply was: I don't know, like, I just went with it. I'm working on getting my speaking skills to the level of my writing skills. They are two different processes. Anyway, here's a link. The Seoul of Joia

Exciting news part 2 is I'm headed back to South Korea!!! No, not tomorrow (I wish). I'll be there next summer for an internship in Seoul and I plan to have a fabulous time. I didn't realize how much I would miss being in Korea. I may actually continue on this blog with my personal stories (nothing work related). A year really isn't enough time to do stuff. I mean, I never went hiking or visited Seoul Tower (I know, sad) or did a temple stay! Or went to Jeju-do Island! I'm not finished with Korea yet and landing an internship there for the summer is proof positive of that. :) So, I hope you'll join me next summer when I return to the land of ~~kimchi and drunk ajusshis~~ morning calm. I hope to see old friends and make a whole bunch of new ones! :)

Until then,

J

Questions for Foreign Teachers

2009-02-06T10:30:00.002-05:00

Instead of making folks email me about the questions I asked foreign teachers in Korea, I'll just post them! Save you all a little time and effort. These questions were originally posted on Daves ESL Cafe, but I've added additional ones as I've gone along.

QUESTIONS TO ASK FOREIGN TEACHERS

1 ) What are the working hours? (start time as in, the time you show up to school and the time you actually start teaching..also called "prep time" - stop time - how many breaks and how long, can you leave the school during breaks or not?).

2 ) How many classes per day, week, month are you expected to teach? Is it 30 classes a week or 6 classes a day? They can hammer out your schedule and have you teaching 9 classes in one day and then spread it out for the week...and you really don't want more than 6 classes a day, trust me!

3 ) Does your employer ALWAYS pay on time? (my Director has paid me late before, like a day or so because she forgot but in general, they should always pay on time and not have some crappy excuse. If they are lagging in payments, it's probably a bad sign...)

4 ) Does your employer pay you overtime wages earned or avoid it with creative book keeping? Yes = Red Flag

5 ) Do you get credit for classes on the national holidays or do you get the day off but still have to work your 120 hours before you get overtime?

6 ) When did your employer provide you with a health insurance card? This, along with your Alien Registration Card (ARC), should be provided within the first few days of arrival, NO EXCEPTIONS!!! Without your ARC, you are there illegally and immigration can cause all kinds of drama. Don't let your Directors give you the run around about getting it to you...it should be in your hands by day 3 or 4 at the latest.

7 ) Does your employer pay into pension? No = Red Flag (get clarification about this. You're supposed to contribute 4.5% of your monthly salary and your school is supposed to match it. So once your year is up, you have a nice little chunk of money. My school didn't pay into a pension but I've heard repeatedly that it's mandatory by law for ALL schools, public and private. I don't know what's true and what isnt. I say just ask...if they don't have it, you miss out on an extra $1000 after your year is up. If they do have it, be sure they're actually paying into and not just pocketing their portion)

8 ) Do you get paid vacation days (paid annual leave) stated in your contract? No = Red Flag (I got 10 days, which is standard)

9 ) When and how do you get your holidays? Do you get to select when you take vacation days or does the school tell you? (I chose mine, but I don't think this is normal)

10 ) What extra stuff do you really have to do mentioned or not in the contract? This includes things like staying a little later once in awhile, attending seminars/company gatherings in other cities, etc. These may not be included in your working hours, but you may be expected to do it.

11 ) Is the school having financial troubles? Yes = Don't work there...this was an issue with my school before. To tell if a school is struggling financially, you'll need to ask about the students...like, how many students have quit since you've been there? How many teachers have left? Do parents complain often? Have you always taught the same number of classes or has your class load been reduced dramatically? The answers to these types of questions can indicate if there's smoke...

12 ) Has any foreign teacher ever been fired in the 11th month? Yes = Don't work there

13 ) Does your employer have a history of being physically abusive or verbally abusive? Yes = Don't work there

14 ) Does your employer have a history of "pocketing " deductions for taxes, pension and medical insurance? Yes = Don't work there (My employer was clearly pocketing insurance deductions...not cool!)

15) What are the English speaking abilities of the Korean Teachers and your employer like? So important I think...my Directors spoke no damn English!!! It was very frustrating at times...my Korean coworkers were fine with English though.

QUESTIONS ABOUT THE APARTMENT/SURROUNDING AREA:

(a) Did your employer provide you with the furnishings stated in your contract? Will you have a shared apartment or a studio?

(b) What were the overall conditions of the furnishings when you moved into your apartment?

(c) How far is your apartment from the school? Important to know if you'll be on a bus or train for an hour...makes a big difference. I walked to my school so I saved a lot of money.

(d) What is the average cost of expenses? Heating/air, water, food, etc? Ask how much they spend in a month. Let me tell you, my heating bill was off the chains. They were hustling me for like, 250,000 won or more a month. I lived in a "nice" apartment in the center of town so they added in all these "maintenance fees". I was livid. My other friends were paying like 13,000 won a month for heating and I was getting bent over backwards. Be careful.

17. What are the main attractions of the city the school is in? Nightlife? How close are you to big areas like Hongdae, Gangnam, and Itaewon? I'm a bit of a party girl and I didn't like being so far from Seoul, even though I was only about 45 mins. I can tell you right now that the subways close at 12am so consider that when you're choosing a location. Taking taxis late night every weekend can rack up so I'd usually end up partying till the subways reopened at 530am. Above all, it's important to be in an area where you're comfortable so ask as many questions as you can about the neighborhood.

For Future Reference

2008-10-15T09:56:00.015-04:00

So, I get a **TON** of email...ok, I don't but it felt good to say it. :) But seriously, I get emails from readers and they tend to ask the same questions, which I don't mind answering at all. So, I'm gonna do the sisterly thing and share my knowledge about how I got my butt from the couch to Korea and how you can do it, too! :)

STEP 1: Don't bother with TEFL/TESOL/TESL, whatever in KOREA

I can't speak of other countries and in general, I suppose this certification is good because it lets you teach all over the world. But for South Korea, they couldn't really care less about this, at least not for hagwons. I think public schools may see a small bump for having it. But I forked over almost $1700 for TEFL certification and I can tell you right now, that money didn't translate a bit into higher pay for me. Being totally new to the profession, it did give me information on lesson planning, classroom manangement, etc. But I gotta tell you, that went right out the window. My school was on-the-job training all the way. What matters is your Bachelor's degree. Heck, it could be in Mudwrestling for all they care. But it matters. With increasingly bold degree scandals sweeping the country, they're getting more suspicious of already-suspicious foreigners. So, nail down that degree then come. OR, you could always come over illegally but obviously, I'm not condoning or advocating that.

STEP 2: Narrow it down!

Look, Korea's got a lot of areas. Most people say, "Blah blah blah I wanna work in Seoul. Blah blah blah". I reckon I said something like this, too. But Seoul is huge and so are the neighboring provinces like Gyeonggi-do and Bundang. Bust out the Seoul subway map and start learning about the areas. If you're a foreigner who likes being around foreigners, you may want to be near Itaewon. If you're a foreigner who hates other foreigners, well then you can pretty much go anywhere! Hahaha...

What I'm saying is that you need to be specific. I wanted to be near Seoul but with a lower cost of living and creature comforts like gyms, malls, parks and stuff within walking distance. Hence, Bucheon. Find out what's really critical to your well-being over the course of a year. It's a long time and your first year really sets the tone for whether you wanna renew a contract.

And also, when you're dealing with recruiters and they're throwing around random ass areas like Gumi, Macheon and Cheonwang, you can look at your map and gauge, with greater accuracy, how far or close you are to big areas in Seoul. Every recruiter SWEARS their school is only "35 mins" from downtown Seoul and it ain't! So, keep it in perspective and be SPECIFIC!

STEP 2.5: Speaking of recruiters...

I used a recruiter called EnglishWork. My personal recruiter, Ashley, was okay. She served as the go-between when I had negotiation problems or any questions. But mostly, Ashley was pressed for time and wanted me to sign on the dotted line as quickly as possible. For this reason, I wouldn't suggest using a Korean recruiter unless you've gotten some stellar recommendation. In general, they are very pushy and don't give two hogs' balls about whether you'll be satisfied in that position. They just want their $1000 per head pay so they can move on to the next one. With that being said, there are only 2 recruiters that I will personally vouch for - Footprints (Ben Glickman is one of the founders) and ESL Planet (Rowan Hall). They were both started by foreigners and cater to foreigners. They will work with you to make sure a position fits you. They are very thorough and there's considerable follow-up. And they usually only work with reputable hagwons, another BIG plus. Saves you from a premature heart attack. I dealt with both of them, but there was a slight hurdle in getting me placed, presumably because of my pigment. But also, it was just kinda slow. It felt like I applied to 500 jobs in 2 weeks so I knew I was bound to get something. It was just the luck of the draw that I landed my job through EnglishWork.

Some of the big hagwons in Korea are YBM (with many subdivisions like YBM Sisa), ECC, CDI, SLP, and Topia. I'm missing a bunch I'm sure. Those are just the big ones but there are literally thousands of smaller, lesser known ones. But here's the important distinction, and I will put this in BOLD - IF YOU DECIDE TO WORK FOR A CHAIN HAGWON, MAKE SURE TO DO YOUR RESEARCH ON THAT SPECIFIC LOCATION!! I'll go ahead and type it again...FIND OUT ABOUT THAT PARTICULAR SCHOOL! This is very important. Each school is owned by different people so this is what causes friction. For example, you apply for a position with So-and-So Hagwon in Mokdong, thinking it's all peachy because "So-and-So is a good brand" and turns out that school is bouncing teachers in the 11th month without severance and airfare. So, be certain, you need to find out how that location is run. Just because you see double G's doesn't make it Gucci, if you know what I mean.

STEP 3: Determine your non-negotiables

You will probably get a lot of offers, whether you're brown or not, and they'll start to look the same after awhile. How do you weed through the junk? Figure out what is non-negotiable for you. Be specific but not picky. Face the fact now that you're not going to get EVERYTHING you want in a job. Landing a job overseas requires flexibility. So, you may have to deal with slightly incompetent Directors for higher pay or you may not be able to walk to work. Maybe you have to take your vacation when the school says or you have one of those hose contraptions for a shower. Some things you can control and some you can't. The point is not to nitpick. Determine what you simply will not budge on and stick by it. Any offers that come your way with the dreaded unmentionable get nixed. You wanna work mornings and an offer is from 2-10pm? Trash! You don't want kindy and you're required to work it 2 or 3 days? Trash! No severance? TRASH!! An hour from downtown Seoul?? TRASH!!
This is how you weedle down those offers and just keep it moving. There are plenty to go around.

STEP 4: Know the standards

Slimy hagwons will beg, borrow, and steal to get around their legal obligations. I got lucky with my school and ended up in nicely moisturized, non-slimy hands. They actually had integrity, except for the whole cutting-off-my-insurance-after- 4-months scandal. But they paid me back, which is a miracle. You should know the standards for each and every contract because they are essentially the same. You are supposed to have certain basic accommodations and if those things are mysteriously absent from the contract, you should be throwing red,white, and blue flags all up and through there. Here's a quick run-down of what you can expect (and again, there will be variations depending on hagwon vs. public school):

- Decent pay, between 1.9 - 2.2 million won for a first year at least (this fluctuates wildly based on experience teaching and school)
- Furnished housing either paid by the school or with a decent housing allowance
- Health insurance paid 50% by the school and 50% by you (mine was like 50,000 won a month)
- Paid airfare and a return ticket home (REVISED 4/15/10: It seems with the recent economic conditions, schools may ask you to pay your airfare upfront and will reimburse you upon arrival)
- Severance bonus after completing your year (horror stories galore about teachers getting fired in the 11th month so be careful)
- National korean holidays and between 10-14 vacation days (I could choose my vacation days which is rare but really hold them to this)

I'm sure I'm missing some things but fellow teachers, please feel free to comment and add on to these. It's been awhile since I looked at a contract so I could be wrong on some of these.

Step 5: DO YOUR RESEARCH!!!

Oh, how I love cliches, don't you?? Well this is actually steps 1-5, but this just stresses how important this factor is. And all rules of common sense generally don't apply here. For example, recruiters and schools will always need you to start "immediately". They don't but doing things at the last minute is the way of the world in Korea. You will need probably a month or more to prep for leaving with all the new rules and regulations for criminal checks and medical exams. If they really want you, they'll wait. If they're just looking for an idiot to fill the position, they'll move on. Period.

I can't stress this enough but I'll try. TALK TO THE FOREIGN TEACHERS AT YOUR SCHOOL!!! Please, please, please, and please talk to them. Ask them the tough questions about what the hell you're getting into. If you'd like a specific list of questions that I asked, email me for them. It's the only way to really gauge the financial and emotional health (yes, emotional health!!) of your school. Because no one wants to be ostracized and belittled for a year. You need to try to eliminate as many variables as possible BEFORE getting your ass on the plane. And you don't wanna walk into a situation where you get there and come to find out, the school is closing in a month. So the questions you ask before will save you a whole lot of headache later.

Many folks just starting out usually go to Dave's ESL Cafe for assistance. I certainly did, especially trying to find out what a school was like. But I found over time that I was getting too much opinion and not enough facts from them. I think they're very useful for contractual clarifications to determine if you're getting a good deal. But sometimes you've gotta take it with a grain of salt. You've got some hardened ESL veterans on those boards whose only purpose in life (aside from teaching occasionally and trolling for lonely, desperate Korean girls) is to badmouth and nitpick. They essentially hate Korea so trying to glean objective information from them becomes nearly impossible. So, just be cognizant of that as you search for answers.

Step 6: Be open-minded

This goes without saying but I'll say it because I like hearing myself type. I guess if you're considering moving to another country, you must be somewhat open-minded already. But you know, you'd be surprised how many hermit foreigners live in different countries. The most anti-social, weird, freakish people you can imagine somehow wind up in Korea. So, if you're gonna come to Korea, make a point to experience some Korean things (and not just the men!! Hahaha...ha **womp womp**). You know, um, eat some kimchi (it took me 10 months but I love it now!), wear a hanbok, travel around Korea (my only regret), make Korean friends, go to some temples, etc. Above all else, just be receptive. And try not to get too pissed off at the sheer ignorance of some Koreans. Just like all Blacks aren't gun-toting, welfare baby mommas and daddies on crack, all Koreans are NOT clueless and ignorant. So, at the end of the day, you get what you give out. If you wanna be that Korea-bashing foreigner, go right ahead. Just don't be too surprised when all you encounter are foreigner-hating Koreans. :)

I will add some links probably for useful websites to check out if you're considering the move. I'm glad you kind people have followed me all this time...it's really been a pleasure writing and getting to meet some of you! Now I'm off to the next adventure but Korea will always have a very special place in my heart...

I Came, I Saw, I Kimchi'd

2008-10-03T09:59:00.019-04:00

Damn blogger for not loading my pictures!!! I started this post about 2 weeks ago but internet was so sporadic in the Philippines and I was so busy my last week that I didn't update. So, I apologize for the massive delay, loyal readers!! Soooooooooo sorry...

It's my last post here in Korea. Can you believe the ride is over? Seems like I just got on. Emotional, saddening, exciting, gut-wrenching...that about sums it up. My week started with tears on Monday night. I cried at the gym saying goodbye to Justin. Well actually, I didn't cry in front of him but rather quietly in the elevator. He had the saddest puppy dog face in the world as he hugged me. I'm really gonna miss our chats...and looking at his niiiiiiiice body. I also said goodbye to my other gym rat buddy, Jin woo. So adorable that kid. I didn't think stumbling through words could be cute and endearing, but he makes it work! I'll miss them both so much...and a few other gym cuties that provided constant motivation for me to stay in shape.

On Tuesday, I said goodbye to my other kindergartners. I really, really loved my Tuesday kids. They knew me better because I saw them more. I started crying when some of the kids just jumped on me and started hugging me, telling me not to go. I mean, my God, I was so close to caving and saying, "Alright, alright! I'll do another year!" just so I wouldn't have to look into their eyes. Even the Director, Grace, got choked up. She said that they'd never had an English teacher who really cared and connected with the kids the way I did. The one before me was a great teacher but not very involved, rather standoffish towards them. They always looked forward to my classes. Truthfully, all I did was just play games with them. I wouldn't even call it teaching, but it was something...and they really appreciated it. So, that made me proud. I feel like if I can walk into a room full of hollering 6-year olds and keep it together, how hard can it be with adults?! And if a vice presidential candidate can get on international TV in front of the entire world and have no idea what she's talking about, surely I can handle anything that comes my way. :)

More gut-wrenching goodbyes came on Wednesday with my smallest ones at school. Even though it was written on the calendar a month ago that I was leaving, for some reason, they didn't know. So when I wrote down their homework, it said, "1) Homework Book p. 19-21 2) Write new words 5X each 3) I love you. Goodbye! :(" So, as they're dutifully copying down the assignment, I watched as it dawned on them that #3 wasn't a homework assignment but a secret message meant to torment them. Clare's face registered sheer horror.

"Joooooiiiiaaaaa!!" she whined.

"Yes, Clare?" I said, already feeling small pools forming around my lower lid.

"Why? What? You....leave???"

"Yup! Uh huh...today is my last day..." **biting the lip, avoiding eye contact at all costs**

"But...but...no.." By this point, she's in my face, demanding an answer and shaking her head angrily. Then she wrapped her little arms around my neck and boy, you shoulda seen how fast those tears flew down my cheeks. And I think, for a child, seeing an adult cry, especially an authority figure, is quite destabilizing. So naturally, I think she cried harder when seeing me cry. And that made me cry harder seeing her cry. It was a total mess. She was clinging to my leg and not wanting to get on the bus. Heartbreaking does not begin to describe my emotions. We pulled it together enough to snap a couple of pictures. But as you see, Clare is not smiling or happy at all. In fact, I think I succeeded in really pissing her off. I will miss her the most.

So, a few weeks ago, I had lunch with Bryan...and his new girlfriend! It was kinda out of the blue because we were supposed to hang out the night of the soul food dinner, but he had to cancel because his great-grandfather passed I think. But he also said, "I have a new girl and I want you to meet her..." I wasn't sure I heard him right so after we hung up, I texted him just to be sure. And he confirmed that yes, he had a new girlfriend. I agreed to meet her, conscience be damned, because we are friends. A little awkward? Sure. She's a really nice, pretty girl though. And quite frankly, it's not like we were going to be anything but friends. I didn't understand why he wanted me to meet her and I didn't ask. I just went along with it...

For my last big night, I went out with my friends for dinner, drinks, and dancing! It was amaaaaaaaazing! Definitely my best night in Seoul because all of my favorite people came out for me. We had dinner near Seoul Tower, in Namsan, at a really cool restaurant called Space. The atmosphere was perfect, reminded me of an NYC lounge. Even the menu had NYC prices! Except the $10 can (not including 12% VAT) of Dr. Pepper. YES, a can! Mind-boggling. I even asked the server how in the hell they could possibly charge that much for a can of Dr. Pepper and her answer was, "Well, that's just what it is..." I'll tell you what it is, lady...a crime!!

So after dinner, we went to Itaewon for drinks at a cool (crowded) spot called Brixx. Free drinks will always be okay with me! And that's when everyone else showed up! I was ecstatic!!! YAY!!!

We stayed there for about an hour or so before moving on to Gangnam. We piled into taxis and went to NB, which was really poppin' for a Thursday night. So, my friend had called ahead to see if we could get a VIP section because it would only be about $20 per person. We get to the door and get DE-NIED! Suddenly, the manager/bouncer/bartender/idiot was saying that we had to pay an entry fee in addition to the cost for the VIP. I was trying to talk to the guy to strike a bargain. Didn't budge. Then a bunch of others tried to talk to him and explain how foul it was that they changed the rules once 20 black folks showed up. But whatever. People buried all that anger for the sake of my last night, paid the money, and partied til the wee hours!! I really had fun and I appreciated every, single person who came out to send me off in style!

I had more pics but Blogger is acting up so I'll add them later. But my time in Korea was incredible...I'm really sad to be leaving here because it's like leaving a family. I can truly say I have real love for the people I've come to know here and I miss them already. So, if anyone has reservations about packing up and moving across the world, if there are any voices (be they real or imagined) telling you not to go...I'd say ignore them and just jump. At the very worst, you won't like it...but at the very best, you'll unearth new dimensions of yourself and forge new friendships.

One of my favorite quotes by Todd L. Bradbury says, "Life is like a circle, and if we travel in opposite directions on that circle, we will meet again..." I hope this is true... :)

Anyeong,

J

Starting the Goodbyes...and Seoul Food...

2008-09-27T04:30:00.006-04:00

Celebrations are in order! It's my 100th post! Never thought I'd have this much to write about honestly.

Last weekend was a phenomenal weekend! I think I'm still recovering from it, hence the late posting. So hmmm, let's see. Well Friday was the last class with my kindy crew. I didn't cry (shock!) but I did snap LOTS of pics. When the teachers explained to them that I wouldn't be coming back anymore, their faces just went south and many of them clung to my legs. I had like 5 little people pulling on my pants!! Kinda scary. But I really appreciated their love for Joia teacher! The Directors even gave me little presents, like traditional Korean wallets (I can fit about 2 quarters inside..lol) and a Korean fan, and a miniature Korean screen with some writing on it. No idea what to do with the last item, but it looks cool. So, here are my rugrats, whose names I never really learned because they didn't have English names. It's harder for Korean names to stick in my head unless I hear it a lot. But I'll really miss these little devils a lot.

On Saturday, I went to Korean class. After that, I met another one of my fabulous readers and fellow bloggers in Hongdae for lunch! (Hey T!!!) She actually just got out to Korea and is teaching English as well. We ate great galbi and chatted, totally forgetting that it was pouring outside. The rest of my day was spent napping. Let's be honest - there aren't many things more relaxing than napping in the rain. Of course, I took the wrong bus home again. Yes, even after 11 months, I'm still getting lost in Korea. Pathetic right? Saturday night, I went out for drinks with some friends in Itaewon. We bar hopped from Gecko's, a packed pub, to Caliente, a salsa dancing venue then to Helio's, the hip hop bar/club that's always overflowing with soldiers and freakishly tall basketball players. I had fun, but I wasn't too happy about dropping $25 on a cab home at 3am. I chalked it up to it being my penultimate weekend in Seoul....penultimate. Always wondered when I'd ever use that word...

Sunday though was the BEST day! My friend, Z, had a soul food dinner. She lives in an apartment building that is a stone's throw from Seoul Tower. It was potluck style and everyone brought traditional dishes like mac & cheese, mashed potatoes, greens, sweet potato souffle, cornbread, fried fish, and some vegetarian friendly dishes like tofu "chicken". We even had deserts like banana pudding and dump cake. And I, with my non-cooking self, brought the plates and cutlery! Yes, don't look surprised...I'm that one at parties. Always. So we laid out blankets and candles on the rooftop of the building and just bugged out. Wow, I haven't laughed that hard since....last week! That's all I'm doing these days is laughing, eating, and drinking. But I met some cool, new brown folks at the party. I wish I were staying longer to develop these new friendships more, but I just have to hope that we'll keep in touch across the distance!

My last full week at school went well. My Directors are really pissing me off though. I'm supposed to finish on Tuesday September 30th. They've asked me to work on Wednesday Oct 1st and Thursday Oct 2nd now. I told them I could work Wednesday but not Thursday because I had too much to do and Friday October 3rd is a national holiday. So, fine, whatever. But then yesterday, my coworker let me know that I won't have to work Wednesday because the new teacher will come by then. She's the translator since my bosses don't speak English so it came right from them. Great! So, what did I do? I made appointments and filled up my schedule because that's a whole extra day I can tie up loose ends. Stupid me....Don't you know I got a call today saying that I do, in fact, need to work Wednesday?!!? I was livid and I'm going to tell them I just can't make it. I mean, it's not my problem right?? I fulfilled my year-long contract. I was only working Wednesday as a favor anyway. But I'm also nervous to say no because I won't have all my money in hand by then. I don't think they'll pull any funny stuff but you never know. But, truly, I've made dentist and doctor appointments and I have so much to do that I can't possibly cram it into Thursday. So, what say ye, readers?? How should I handle this situation?

One week left!!! Can't believe it! My, how quickly time flies once you get outta your apartment! :)

Until then,

J

A Bus to Busan

2008-09-16T20:26:00.018-04:00

That's Busan with a long U by the way. Anyway, I'm back from my mini-beach vacation with the girls! Busan is way down at the southern tip of Korea, normally about 4 hours by train I think. We had a really fun time just hanging out and being 8 black girls in homogeneous Korea. Talk about staring! Oh but where to begin with this laugh-packed journey?

Well, for one, this trip almost didn't happen. The night before we were to leave, I realized that folks had bought bus tickets and NOT train tickets. I didn't mind so much because I like buses but what I don't like is sitting in traffic for hours on end. Since last weekend was Chuseok, aka Korean Thanksgiving, I was imagining miles upon miles of cars, exhaust-filled lungs, and flared tempers. We'd gotten wind of a picture from someone's Chuseok trip last year and it wasn't looking so good for us. Some estimates had us on the road for 14 hours....17 hours...and my favorite jaw-dropper, 24 hours!!! I almost just said F*ck it. But we didn't...after just 6 hours, we arrived at Haeundae Beach...and the recklessness began!

Call it irresponsible, but yes, 8 people showed up in a new city with no hotel reservation, during arguably one of the busiest times of year. Not entirely smart but it worked out for us. We scored awesome rooms at The Westin Chosun...on the beach! . Aeja and her big mouth actually got us a great discount too...("Ummm, excuse me Mr. Front-Desk-Guy, how come no one carried our bags for us? I mean, this is The Westin. Even at regular hotels, they always carry your bags...) And 20 minutes later, they had knocked our price down!

After checking in and getting freshened up, we headed to dinner. Some of us wanted meat (ME!!) and others didn't so we split up. The restaurant we ended up at was practically abandoned. I was waiting for some desert tumbleweed to come rolling through there. But it was perfect because we could be as loud as we wanted to be. We ordered about 3-little-pigs worth of pork. I drank an entire bottle of wine almost by myself because it tasted like grape juice. Everyone else had soju and beers and truly, we bonded. It was probably one of my favorite parts of the trip, just kickin' back, eating, and drinking. A gal could get used to that..

Later that night, some of us (ME!!) really wanted to go out and check out Busan's nightlife. But first, we had drinks downstairs in the hotel. BIG MISTAKE! For one, the bartender couldn't make a mojito or a Long Island had you held a semi-automatic weapon to his head. Since I'm a connoisseur of both beverages, I know good and damn well what they should be. And let's just say both drinks (at $12 each) left me feeling entirely unsatisfied. In fact, that was the first mojito EVER that I didn't finish. The horror! We still took silly pictures though...

Busan nightlife is pretty lacking, too. Maybe the city was just dead, which is understandable, but I'm just so biased towards Seoul that I couldn't help but wonder what the hell anyone does here besides go to the beach. Our first stop was a "club" at the bottom of The Grand Hotel. Ironically, it was called Boracay. As we walked down to the center of the Earth getting to this place, we couldn't help but notice the complete absence of any thumping beats. No people going inside. Only an uneasy group of would-be bouncers and servers hoping to usher us in and make us spend too much money. Once we reached the front of the club, our mouths all did a simultaneous gape. The place was pretty empty but more disturbing was the slow, elevator music coming from the DJ booth. What in the hell....???? We nearly turned right around, but I was meeting a friend there. We gave it about 5 minutes and a shot of tequila and they were bumping some hip-hop. Crisis averted but very scary at first.

So, never ones to stay still, we headed to the other side of the beach. I think this one was called Gwang-alli Beach. We were looking for another club which turned out to be right near our hotel actually. But we hung around Gwang-alli Beach for a bit. It was just one row of bars and stuff, no clubs at all. We went to a pizza joint and just sat and talked really. I watched a mangy dog piss on the sidewalk and then the restaurant owners came and shooed him away. Then he did it again. We also saw a cute puppy being paraded around by two men. Total chick magnet...the puppy I mean. The guys weren't much to look at. Around 3am, we crawled into taxis and went back to the hotel.

The second day, we woke up about noon. I don't usually sleep til noon but I did one of those things where I woke up every hour for like 5 hours but went back to sleep cuz no one else was up yet. So finally, we kinda split up again because some of us wanted Friday's and others wanted Chinese food. I have a new appreciation for Friday's and their amazing Junebugs and Mac N Cheese Balls....and burgers....and Parmesan-Crusted Quesadillas. I will never disparage them! So yes, 5 of us got lit up at Friday's on a Sunday at noon and had a damn good time doing it. They let us sit outside so we had the nice beachview. We almost had a food fight, too. Or maybe just a ketchup fight. Hanging out with my girlfriends, you would think we're a bunch of guys with all the trash-talking we do. And that's just how I like it! :)

**Lu making a very difficult decision - taste or effect??**

As for me, the rest of the day was spent in bed. I was so sapped for energy. I can't even explain it. Therefore, I missed out on the afternoon's activities, but I heard about it so I will still post pics. The others went to hang on the beach and did some double-dutching. Good thing I wasn't there because I was told early on (by some especially cruel older girls) that I sucked at it. But my friends had a great time....and a new Korean fanbase!!

For dinner, we all went out together (for once!!) to a wonderful Thai restaurant. It was also very empty which worked out great! Come to think of it, maybe everyone just left when we showed up! Hahaha...I ate some pineapple/shrimp rice and yes, it tastes as good as it sounds. I also ordered some pad thai, which I didn't care for. It smelled like feet to me. For dessert, I ate some coconut milk concoction. I question the validity of this Thai restaurant though because there was NO sticky rice in sight! What kinda mess is that??? I still tore it up though. By the end of dinner, we were reminiscing about the 80s and singing just about every R&B song you could imagine. Ahhhhh, so wonderful. Only about 2 people could actually sing (Crystal and Jameelah) but we all pretended for the helluva it. Outside, it was pretty dead but we took that moment to goof off a little.

The bus ride back was equally smooth and "quick", only about 6 hours. SUCH an amazing time! Even though Busan isn't like Seoul, I think that's the point. It really felt like a getaway and I appreciated that. My only regret about this trip is that I hadn't met some of these lovely ladies sooner. :)

I was planning to make a quick trip to Tokyo at the end of the month. A friend of mine will be in town and she invited me to a concert but damn those skyrocketing ticket/gas prices!! In 24 hours, the ticket went up $100 and that's just outta my reach. Maybe it's for the best as I couldn't really afford Tokyo again, but I just wanted to see my friend and hang out. Guess I will be spending my last 2 weeks here packing and partying....and maybe having a date. I've been chatting with the random guy from Gangnam, the one whose face I can't remember. He's very nice so we'll see how that goes! Damn, I hope he's not ugly yall....but I can't for the life of me remember!! Sh*t.

Everything's all settled for Boracay, too!! I've been talking to Tony a lot and he bumped into Noeme, the little girl. She's really excited that I'm coming back....and of course, Ritchie. Ummmmm.... **swoon**

Ok, bed time for me!!

Until then,

J

When Gangnam Calls...

2008-09-08T06:54:00.012-04:00

I should definitely be showering right now since I just came home from the gym. But I'm not. Yet. I like to just bask in the aftersweat. Ok, there really wasn't any aftersweat because I didn't go all that hard tonight. I'm feeling a little sluggish actually and maybe that's because I stayed out all night, once again, on Saturday. But I had a very special reason. I got to meet one of my readers! (HEY M!!) She hit me up just letting me know she would be in town and if we could hang out. So of course I said yes! I introduced her to other brown folks out here and we all had a really great time. We met up in Gangnam for galbi. We must've sat around chatting about all kinds of things - from Koreans' endless fascination with our hair to the closeted gay Korean population - for about 2 hours. My Korean guy friends and acquaintances can swear up and down til they're blue in the face that there aren't gay people in Korea, but EVERY population has gay people. I don't know why my friends want to argue with me about this. Denial does not equal disappearance. Just because you're not choosing to acknowledge something doesn't mean it's not there. Let's all wave and say hello to the big, gay elephant in the room, Korea. All together now!!

**climbing down from my soapbox**

So, after a satisfying dinner, some of us headed out for dancing. We ended up at Harlem club. I made a beeline for the bar once we got in there because it was SO empty! I just kept thinking what a crappy night it was gonna be. But oh was I wrong!! Out of the five of us that went, only Kayla and I stayed until the sun came up. But I was pretty impressed that M and others stuck around till at least 2 or 3am. By that point, I was fading too. Only two things really keep my engine going into the wee hours - Long Island Ice Teas and eye candy. That's really it. Lucky for me, both were plentiful. Correction - I had ONE Long Island that lasted me 3 hours. I mean, it just wouldn't go down! I'd take a sip and it was like the bartender snuck his ass behind me and re-filled it! Speaking of bartenders, Kayla and I harassed them for a good while. But they liked it! One of them was so damn pretty, like a doll or something. And the other one just seemed annoyed and angry, like he soiled his diaper and his mom wouldn't change it. We got him to crack a smile though...after about 2 hours. I spent the better part of my time waiting in the crusty bathroom line though. There were only 4 stalls and two were locked because I believe two girls passed out inside. I have no mercy for people like this though. I just want to handle my business and keep it moving!

I spotted some super cute guys. One guy I checked when I first walked in. Truly adorable. He bought us shots and partook in the festivities. And then he dropped the bomb that he had a girlfriend in Canada. He whipped out some camera pics of her. She was very cute but not as attractive as him. In between his slurring speech and my equally blurry vision, he claimed that he "really loved her but didn't trust her at all". Interesting but not for me to figure out. So I made my way to someone else to keep the party going. Lol.

By 5am, I was coming down from the interminable Long Island and just wanted to go to sleep. But we went to the neighboring hip-hop club, NB. It was actually waaaaaaay better than Harlem. I was shocked to find it packed as hell at that hour, folks still dancing like mad. I met a cute guy named Ju Hyeon. You know, truth be told, I can't remember his face or features. I know I sound the plumb fool but it's like that sometimes, yall! Damn those strobe lights. But I'm pretty sure he was cute and he was tall! Really tall. But just one small problem - he goes to school like 2 hours away! I haven't figured out if he commutes back and forth or what but that simply will not do. Honestly, I leave in 3 weeks so what's really gonna come of this?? But maybe we can have coffee or something. Then there was another guy named Chan with a cute hip-hop style, not the obnoxious gold-chain wearing caricatures that I'm used to seeing out here. He was very shy so his friend who spoke perfect English helped him out. There is something to be said for a guy who acts very shy initially. Can't put my finger on it, but it's...intriguing. His friend, by the way, was married with two young boys at home. So why in the SAM HELL are you out at the club at 3am?!?! I wish my husband would...

After NB, Kayla and I went to Burger King. This BK is pure foolishness. We rolled up in there and why did they only have chicken sandwiches??? How is Burger King not gonna have ONE, SINGLE burger?! I think this doesn't make you a burger king but rather a burger idiot. I tore up that chicken sandwich until the nausea kicked though. On our way out, saw this fine specimen on the street. Korea Sparkling...never seen someone who just sweats on his shoulders and nowhere else. Fascinating indeed...

I got home by 8am or so. I was actually in physical pain. Somewhere throughout the night, I dislocated my shoulder because that puppy was wailing when I laid down on it. I had scraped my ankle pretty badly the night before too (thank you, sangria!) and that was throbbing anew. My obliques were killing me because my gym friend made me do sidedips way too deeply. And of course, because it never fails, someone stepped on my damn foot. Some drunk girl who wanted to dance with me shoved her stiletto into my arch then laughed nervously, backed away slowly, never to return. UGH...so goes my weekend. :)

Here are some bonus pics so you can see what I've been doing the last couple of weekends...

*out at Carne Station with Jameelah and friends*

**Kevin and Arigato during our snack party** Kevin, along with about 4 others from his class, quit recently :(

**Kayla and Leslie at the Que cookout in Yongsan**

**Susannah, Kayla, Chentel, and Christina at Rhythm N' Booze**

**my favorite couple**

This weekend, I'm headed to Busan with the girls for Chuseok!!! Woo hoo, a beach!! :)

Until then,

J

Minor Annoyances...and good news!

2008-08-31T01:27:00.003-04:00

There are just a few things on my mind so I'm gonna air them out while I've got some temporary sanity.

1) Uhhhh, really John McCain? I smell something. Oh yes, what's that?!! It is the smell of.. **sniff, sniff** .. desperation!! It reeks. It is stinking up the entire country. You are making a fool of your fellow Americans and your Republican constituents alike. Ok, you're a "maverick", a rebel but this is downright foolishness and I demand you cease and desist!! If you were hoping to stir the pot, you did a helluva job, Sir. If you were also hoping to reel in some of the displaced Hilary fan base, I don't believe this was the right way to go since Palin and Hilary pretty much disagree on every issue. If and when your health decides to betray you, I think a lot of people (myself included) are doubting that this 44-year old governor from Alaska will be able to handle your duties. That's my primary concern. I can't speak for anyone else, but in my eyes, you haven't calmed anyone's nerves or squelched anyone's fears in your choice. And the fact that you have no idea how many houses you own is also despicable. But I guess we will see how this all plays out. As for me, I'm hoping his "strategy" (the loosest available translation of the word) backfires. And I will eagerly await a "debate" between Joe Biden and Sarah Palin...oh please please please??!! **giddy**

2) Had an incident in my other kindy class on Friday. So they're learning about different nationalities and cultures. Hooray! They had a nice little map with pictures of cartoon people from different regions of the world. Japan had a woman in a kimono. Cute. England had a man in stockings or something colonial looking. Oh, and India had a woman in a sari. But lo and behold, what is this in Africa? A half naked man in a grass skirt with a bone through his nose and a spear in his hand.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....more hmmmmmmm.....

About 3 silent moments of hmmmmmm. Now, I haven't been to Africa (yet). And I realize that there are some groups of natives that may still look like this and that is perfectly alright with me. The same goes for native Amazonian tribes or the tribes in Vanuatu in the South Pacific. The point is that this image does not represent an ENTIRE continent. So I went ahead and taught my classes. I didn't freak out and get angry. I wasn't actually surprised to see an image like this in a kindergarten given Korean culture and perceptions. But I did say something to the only English-speaking teacher there. I pulled her aside and said something like this:

Me: Hey Hyun. I saw that they're learning about different cultures. That's really fantastic! But I think your image of Africa is a little off.

Her: Oh really? Have you been to Africa?

Me: No, I haven't been to Africa, but it's a diverse continent, just like anywhere. This isn't the one image that should be associated with it. Maybe you should display more accurate pictures, like with traditional African clothes. A bone in the nose and spear in hand seems wrong.

Her: Hmmmm...I see. So, you're saying they don't look like this?

Me: Um, yes. That's what I'm saying.

Her: **no response, but looks deep in thought**

Me: Ok, I will bring in some pictures next week. How about that? Just so you can see what I mean.

Her: Ok. Sure.

Well, how did I do this time? I didn't pitch a fit. No no...I'm only offering a different perspective. It's not my place to rearrange this kindergarten obviously, but since I am Black and I'm teaching them, they should at least have more accurate depictions. Right? I mean, c'mon. No other country had representatives without clothes on...why just Africa? These early associative images only propagate ignorance. They even showed Egypt, a country which some folks just love to exclude from the rest of the continent, with regal garb. I also noted the bronzed skin tone for Egyptians whereas the other image was dark brown. I could get into this, but I won't. I'm just going to Google some pictures and bring them in next time. If you have any pics of traditional African clothing or images, just let me know. I may use them! :)

3) My Directors threw a hissy fit about my plane ticket home. Since I'm going to the Philippines for a week, I wanted them to pay for my flight from Manila to JFK. They kept insisting they didn't want to pay for it, that they'd only pay for a flight from Seoul to JFK. Here's my reason for pissivity - the Manila flight was waaaaaaaay cheaper than the other one!! They were bitching because it was expensive ($1500 for a 1-way) YET the flight from Seoul to JFK was $1800! I'm not a mathematician but damnit, I just saved you $300! And I'm flying into an airport which is a full 2 hours out of the way so give me a break! So, after 3 days of arguing back and forth, I actually found an EVEN CHEAPER flight from Manila to JFK for just $1000. They finally shut the hell up...and bought my ticket. :)

4) Yeah, my Directors are also playing games with my life. Turned out they stopped paying my health insurance back in January. My contract states clearly that they are to pay half and I pay the other half. So guess who has been steadily paying it every month? Yes...I have. All alone! And how did I find out? Going for a routine gyno check-up. I whipped out my insurance booklet and they said to me, ever so nicely, "Uh, Miss Joia...you don't have health insurance..." Words that you just never want to hear.

**leaning forward, listening intently** "Um, excuse me? Yes, I do. I pay it every month..."

Well apparently, my bosses hadn't been. So I went into work that day, madder than a raccoon in the daytime, and cussed them a blue streak. And now they will be paying me back 8 months retroactive for these shenanigans, about $400. Some Korean hagwon owners are just sooooooo sneaky!! You really have to stay on top of them because they will try to get over on you. If I'd never gone to the doctor, I never would've known that they'd just been pocketing my portion. That really pissed me off and it still does.

Alright, it's Labor Day Weekend back home and I know yall are GRUBBIN' so I'm headed to a BBQ out here in celebration! I'll be home October 11th so mark your calendars! That is the good news by the way. Hahaha. :)

Until then,

J

Lost in the Sauce

2008-08-21T10:27:00.006-04:00

My mind has been on a swivel lately. I just have too much swimming around on my plate so I will be taking a short break from my blog. Not too long, just a week probably. But here are the main sources of my stress. Yes, you knew it was coming - A LIST!!! :)

1) I talked to my Mom a few days ago and she told me that my grandfather, an abnormally sprite and healthy 70-something year old man, is having health issues. Something with his lungs and doctors don't know what it is and he needs to be sent to Jupiter for more testing. Who knows? But I'm pretty down about it and hence, not in the writing mood.

2) GRAD SCHOOL, GRAD SCHOOL, GRAD SCHOOL! I come home in roughly a month and a half, but I've been trying to prep for this transition now. I'm planning to go to grad school in Fall 2009. At first, I thought I was just going to get a Master's in International Relations, but now I think I should get a dual degree with an MBA, too. That requires much more work on my end. I've finally narrowed down the schools so now it's a matter of doing EVERYTHING else - application, references, GMAT, etc. I've even tried to refresh my math skills out here, but it's proving quite difficult. So, if you know any excellent math tutors in the tri-state area, please let me know! :) I'm gonna need one as soon as I touch down.

3) I need a job. Back home that is. Reading about the pitiful state of our economy is not really an encouraging sign either. And trying to land a job when you're 15,000 miles away from the intended destination is even harder. But I will keep on truckin...damnit, SOMEONE is going to hire me!!

4) Organizing more trips. Right now, China is on the radar for Chuseok in September (Korean Thanksgiving-ish holiday). China is normally an affordable country, but this ordeal has proven to me that it isn't. Aeja and I are looking at a 4-day, 3-night all-inclusive kind of tour and it's close to $1K. Then we have to throw in that lovely, inflated Chinese visa for Americans and the price stretches to over $1K. So that's a blower, but my desire to hug the Great Wall and party in Beijing is really fueling my need to go. We shall see....

5) Back to Boracay...yes, that's right. I'm planning to spend a week down there once I finish up and I cannot wait! I plan to do some relaxing activities though. I want to get my mind re-focused on being back home and adjusting. Plus, there's no telling when I'll be on a beach again so may as well soak it up now. I really want to get Eckhart Tolle's "A New Earth". I've just been dying to read it. I think it's a book that I'm ready for now, as I close one chapter and begin another. My only dilemma in getting to Boracay is all the crap I have in Korea. I've got to start sending stuff home, which will be expensive. I can't be lugging 4 jumbo suitcases to an island! I actually think most of my stuff will either get thrown out or given to friends staying here longer. Guess I should figure that out now huh? I love traveling and hate the planning. That's why I need to marry a travel agent...or a pilot.

6) Dating is on hiatus until...forever! Lol. Just kidding but I have to focus on other things right now. And yeah, the "new guy" that I mentioned awhile back? We will call him Dex. He was really, really cool but every girl has her dealbreakers so he got cut loose. And, as my luck would have it, he's also moving to Australia!! What in the heck is in the water down there?! I guess he and Robert can have a great ole time together! Speaking of Robert, he's fantastic! Here are some more pics of his adventures in Aussieland!

That's really it. My school semester is finishing which means tests and evaluations. Nothing good ever comes outta that. I actually fell asleep grading a test at work. Mouth agape, flies setting up shop, the whole bit. Then when my Director walked in, I pretended to be coherent again. Wow...a little sleep deprived are we? Indeed....see yall in a week!!

Until then,

J

Goodbye, Margot!

2008-08-16T09:42:00.012-04:00

So, we sent Margot packing last weekend. Her year in Korea was filled with lots of school drama, but she made it through! I think pretty much everything that could've gone wrong with her situation did go wrong - like her first school closing and having to find another job, crazy ass roommates, and a shady new school. Her perception of teaching in Korea is much different than mine, but it was one helluva experience and I was glad to be along for the ride!

The rowdiness started during dinner at Hard Rock Cafe. When a group of 15 people get together, you just know how the night's gonna go and it didn't disappoint. We all drank a whole lot and I attempted to eat a Cobb salad but I just couldn't finish it. I was so disappointed because I've wanted a salad for a long time. But oh well. And it cost 15,000 won...moving on...

After dinner, we all piled onto the subway and headed to Hongdae. Margot's only real request was to do norebang so we decided to get drunk first! We ended up at the Ho Bar...yes, indeed. There are many degrees of Ho-ness like Luxury Ho Bars and Ho Bar 1-4. Terribly funny name but a great atmosphere! You should never be allowed to buy entire bottles of tequila though...just seems wrong. But we did and we started a nice, little ice war. So, if you ever go to Ho Bar in Korea, just know that it's okay to throw ice around and make a big scene because they won't kick you out! This is that one time where we were those obnoxious foreigners. Guess everyone's gotta do it once, right? We weren't rude though, just loud.

We showed up at the Premium Luxury norebang quite twisted. And this place was sooooooooo nice! I'd passed by it many times before and you can't help but notice it because there are huge, glass rooms facing the outside so if you get one of those rooms, everyone can see you. But those rooms also come with crazy costumes to dress up in! I've seen a giraffe, a panda bear, some rockers, just random shit. It's so weird but seems incredibly entertaining when you're three sheets to the wind. Unfortunately, we didn't end up in one of those BUT we still had an amazing time singing the night away. We snuck in some soju, which they found out about, but we still kept it anyway...hahaha. Oh, we are rebels.

After singing way out of tune, we went to a club of course! Had some more shots and danced like no one was watching! Around 5am, we went to yet another club but it was pretty terrible. I think including us, there were about 10 people in there. Everyone went their separate ways by 630am. I went to Burger King to try to absorb all that tequila with a ginormous burger and fries, but amazingly, that did absolutely NOTHING for my state. But sleeping all the way back home on the bus did... :)

One last thing we did before Margot left was go to a jimjilbang, a 24-hour Korean sauna thingy. But oh it's so much more! It's a very family-oriented kind of experience. You see little kids running around with grandmas. There's a men's side and women's side and most Koreans just hang out there and relax after a long day. You can watch tv, buy facial packs, sit in the 200 degree sauna, or a cool-down pool. It's really quite amazing and all for the low price of 6,000 won! So one night, four of us went out there after drinking yet again. At 2am, there's really nothing better than sitting in a hot tub. I was quite impressed. We'll go ahead and add that to the list of "Things I Wish I'd Done Sooner". :) I'll miss you, Margot....see you back in the US of A!!!

Until then,

J

And New Baby Makes THREE!

2008-08-11T14:57:00.007-04:00

Alright, before people go freaking out thinking I'm knocked up out here, I'M NOT. But I was so affected by the kids in the Philippines that I decided to sponsor a child there. I've already been sponsoring a little girl named Patricia in the Dominican Republic for 2 years. And now, I'm a proud Mama-sponsor of Jay! He's a really cute kid who loves basketball and dancing. For $22/month, Jay gets food, clothes, books, medicine, etc. And you can send money throughout the year for holidays, birthdays, or just because. I know there are so many ways to help and it's such a small thing, but I felt moved by it so I went with it. I really LOVE kids, all kids, all races and sizes. I actually think I've developed a hypersensitivity to children since being in Korea. I have no doubt that I will continue working with the disadvantaged youth all over the world. Maybe this is the cause I was so desperately searching for 10 months ago because nothing really makes me come alive like helping kids and seeing them grow.

So, if you would also like to sponsor a child, click the title to go to Children International.

You can even sponsor children in the USA, but there are laws to protect their information so just call or email instead.

Until then,

J

Paradise Found...Part 3

2008-08-10T03:40:00.022-04:00

Our third day in Paradise started off with some heavy rain. Actually, the monsoonish weather came the night before and lasted into the morning. We had planned an entire day of activities like island hopping and parasailing so things weren't looking good. But it calmed down a little bit and we decided to forge on with our plans. And I'm so glad we did because the weather cleared up!

Our first excursion was island hopping. We walked to the other side of the island with our tour guide, Elmer, and got on a small wooden boat. I may as well tell you now that I don't remember any names of the islands! So, before getting to an island, we stopped in the middle of the ocean. I was a little baffled and I thought the boat ran out of gas or something, but turned out we were docked to go snorkeling! I'd never been snorkeling before so I was nervous. I never learned how to swim, which is shameful. But even with the life jacket on, I get such anxiety being in deep water. Too many Jaws movies? It was really beautiful underneath the sea despite the fact that water kept coming through my mask and up my nose. Another cause of anxiety because I kept thinking I was going to drown. But it wasn't totally my fault. We didn't get any kind of tutorial before snorkeling. They basically just put us in masks and jackets and threw us in. But knowing to breathe through your mouth instead of your nose doesn't come naturally so I think that's why I was really anxious.

**Elmer, making sure I didn't die**

After snorkeling, the sun came out just as we landed at a new island. This place had a lot of interesting caves to explore. They weren't very big inside but the water was crystal clear. I was just trying not to bust my ass and float off into the ocean. I also picked a random statue's nose. I have no idea why I started doing that, but it makes me laugh when I look back on pictures.

Then we went to another island for lunch. The lunch itself was amazing - meat kebabs, fresh fish, salad, and a nice, cold beer. Perfect island food. I also spotted this little cutie running around along with some kiddies. The kids would dive for coins if you threw them in the water so I emptied out my wallet!

After island hopping, we went parasailing. I'd been two other times before and it really never gets old. But the wind was especially strong and we were just flying all over the place. It sounds like that would be fun, but it's quite horrifying when the only thing keeping you from plummeting to your death is a skinny ass string. Probably one of the most fun moments was riding in a speed boat. I'd never done that before and it's also a little scary but in a fun way.

Later, we went to dinner at Big Mouth then had drinks on the beach. I have a ritual for wherever I go. I have to listen to Sade. I can be on a plane going to a destination or actually at the location but it's mandatory. When I'm on a beach, then it's quite crucial. But the weather wanted to act crazy once again so as soon as I got my mojito, it started to sprinkle. But do you really think a monsoon is gonna stop me from drinking my mojito and listening to my Sade on the beach?! HELL NO!! That's why umbrellas were invented!

I was sitting out there alone after long because Kayla, not a diehard mojito/rain/Sade lover, wasn't amused by the climate. Ritchie kept coming out to check on me, which was nice. We actually decided to go out one last time. Around 11pm, we met up at Summer Place, a popular bar with live music and a small dance floor. But we just talked most of the time. I learned a lot about Ritchie and the life he's had growing up in the Philippines. Talking to him really humbled me because he's admittedly poor but he's "incredibly happy". He's happy because he has ambitions and dreams and he knows a lot of people can't even afford to dream. He paid for his Associate's Degree by offering to clean the building after hours. He lives for studying and really loves school, something you almost never hear American kids say. I know I sure didn't love studying or school.

Ritchie, much wiser than his 21 years, helps take care of his 6 other siblings and parents. He budgets his paycheck perfectly every 2 weeks, splitting it up between paying for his board, giving money to his parents, and food. There's not much money left for doing fun things, which doesn't matter so much because he loves to work and appreciates having a good job. But he didn't present all this information in a way to garner pity. He was just talking and when he asked me about my life and what it had been like, I was really shy to share. I'm not in any way ashamed of what my parents provided for me. If anything, talking to Ritchie made me that much more grateful. It's just that our lives couldn't have been more different - the have and the have-not. I probably spent in one day what he makes over 3 months. THAT is what brought me down to Earth. And yet, Ritchie is definitely the happiest person I've met. He just has this fire for life and what's out there. I could feel in him the same anxious energy that drives me, too. Just wanting to succeed and do something and be somebody. But he, much like me, doesn't realize that he's already doing so much. I felt really fortunate that I got to meet him and that we'll stay friends. I think he's a really good kid, a young spirit and an old soul living in the same body.

On our last day in Boracay, Kayla, Margot, and I went horseback riding up Mount Luho. For about an hour, we rented horses and had tour guides walk us along the path. I haven't been horseback riding since I was a little girl and now I know why - my ass was sore for 3 days afterwards! When the horse even jogged a little bit, I felt like my brain was rattling around, ready to spew forth from my head. It's just the most uncomfortable ride ever. But my horse, Apache, was really sweet and didn't have any problems. Now, Margot's horse, Black Beauty, was actually injured. My tour guide, whose name I can't remember, said that he had hit Black Beauty or something the day before and sure enough, the poor horse was limping and really struggling. I have a soft spot for animals. Not in a crazy PETA way, but they feel pain too. So I felt some type of way about us riding an injured, potentially abused animal, just for thrills. Anyway, it was still a good experience.

Ok, I'll wrap this up since my retinas are now bleeding. We also ate ostrich meat. Sounds crazy but we put a serious hurtin' on that bird. If you want some amazing beef-tasting, lean meat, I will suggest the ostrich each and every time. I wanted to slap the chef, the sous chef, the pastry chef, the waiter, the busboy....everyone up IN THAT KITCHEN for making such an amazing dish. I actually fell in love with Boracay...and I may be back sooner than you think! :)

Until then,

J

Paradise Found...Part 2

2008-08-06T12:26:00.006-04:00

Day 2 was FANTASTIC! It was raining for about half of the day, but that didn't stop the good times. Margot and I spoke with a really cool Korean guy named Tony. He owned a scuba shop next door to our hotel. Aside from his blond highlights, the first thing I noticed about Tony was his perfectly flawless, bronzed skin! Just remarkable! So he let us in on his secret - a spa that was off-the-beaten path. I mean, we had to walk through the "real" Boracay to get to it and that was a big reason why their business was slower. So Tony called up the owner, Mr. Koo, and made us an appointment. And at a bargain price for 2.5 hours of bliss. I won't reveal the price because then anyone who goes will want it, too but let's just say that kinda service back in the States would run about $400-500, easily. So we walked about 10 mins down the dirt roads and past some chickens and shacks and arrived at YES Spa. The outside is nothing nice to look at honestly. Looks like someone's child painted the name on the outside and most of the place is sheltered by coconut trees. But once you get inside, it feels like you've walked into a secret paradise for royalty. All the outside noise disappeared and only solitude and peace remained.

This was my first spa experience and I think it will be quite difficult to top. During the first treatment, she rubbed some mango and papaya scrub all over then wrapped me up in gigantic banana leaves. She massaged my face and put some mask on me so you know I was knocked out. Next came the hot stone massage. Utter...Speechlessness. Then I got into this big, deep stone tub. In the water were rose petals and some other wild flowers. I wanted to bottle up that water and smuggle it back with me. And you know my favorite part - the wine! Then came the regular massage. My masseuse worked some voodoo magic on my ass. I'd had an awful crick in my neck and back for about 3 years and it is sure enough gone. I was in such a hazy state the entire time that I swore they put something in my drink. Margot's lady walked on her back, but I don't really know if mine did. That's how out of it I was. When I left though, I was the most relaxed I've ever been IN LIFE and my skin was dewey and fresh. I wanted to give that woman ALL my money, that's how good she was. Put her children through college or something! So if you're lame like me and haven't gone to a spa yet, please go. It WILL be a part of my regimen now...no doubt about that! :)

The rest of the day was pretty lazy. It was a perfect night so we just drank on the beach with Tony and hung out with Noeme and some other street kids. It started pouring, monsoon-style, around 830 or 9pm and it lasted all night into the next morning. But what's a little rain?! It didn't dampen our spirits! :) Day 3 was the REALLY fun day!

Paradise Found...

2008-08-05T11:52:00.013-04:00

I'm a little salty to be back from vacation, quite literally as there is still sand pouring from random crevices, nooks and crannies. But I'm really grateful that I got to celebrate my 25th birthday in paradise. We spent the first and last night in Manila. It's a really busy, crowded city with a good amount of pollution. We definitely got stared at but, unlike Korea where people seem to be wondering what in the hell you're doing in their country, it was somewhat welcoming. Curiously interested. Now, I know absolutely nothing about crime rates in Manila, but when there are signs outside of department stores requesting that you leave your firearms at the door, you can infer that it's not the safest place. And I could feel it instantly when the little hairs on the back on my neck were standing up. Being in Korea is really nice for the simple fact that only military and police officers carry guns. You're never concerned about some random person unleashing his day's frustration on you with guns. I surely wouldn't mind exploring Manila another time, but for this visit, I was pretty okay just hanging around the hotel room.

Naturally, this trip had some bumps! Aeja's luggage was on the wrong flight and we actually arrived in Manila without our friend, Kayla. When she hadn't shown up on our connecting flight in Hong Kong, we just knew something wasn't right. We spent all night in Manila trying to track her down. We almost gave up hope as we were waiting for our flight to Boracay when we saw her come running through the airport. We were all screaming and shouting so loud that everyone in the whole place just stopped and stared. It's also important to note that when traveling to, in, and around the Philippines, there are a lot of additional fees. Entrance fees, exit fees, environmental fees, maintenance fees, breathing fees...and then tips! Tips galore! So, this really adds to the overall cost of the trip, but it was still a very reasonable vacation considering everything.

Onward to Boracay!!

DAY ONE

So our first day, my birthday, we arrived around 2pm and were greeted with welcoming drinks at the hotel. Anyone who contributes to my blood-alcohol content increasing is alright with me! We had a really great beachfront suite. Our beach view was blocked a little bit by the outdoor bar and restaurant but it was still pretty nice. We went off in search of food and stumbled upon Big Mouth, a Filipino restaurant. We ended up eating there pretty much everyday because the food was so good and the owner, Erick, was super nice.

After eating, we decided to hang out on the beach. The weather was heaven and starting to cool down. I noticed Aeja chatting with an adorable little girl named Noeme. Noeme is 9 or 10 and she wanted to braid all of Aeja's hair for like 250 pesos (about $5 US). And every night, Noeme would be out until about 10pm just trying to make money by braiding hair. I informed her that she should be charging waaaaaaaaay more, but I guess that's just how the business goes here. So we hung out with her a lot actually. She took charge of all our cameras and had mini photo shoots! Here are some of her better shots:

Later in the evening, we had dinner at Ole, a Cuban/Mexican/Spanish restaurant. Literally, they just had everything on the menu, including my favorite Cuban dish, Ropa Vieja - shredded steak with rice and plantain. And they made the BOMB sangria which we were more than happy to drink! I think I actually drank the most because it was my birthday AND I was caught licking my plate. These are pretty good indications of my true state of mind.

We were all feeling pretty nice, but Kayla and Aeja couldn't take it. They passed out by like 8 or 9pm. What kinda crazy person goes to sleep at 9pm during a vacation?! They got clowned for that! So Margot and I went out with Ritchie, the cute waiter from our hotel, and his friends. We ended up at Cocomangas, a popular night spot. It was disgustingly spacious and we scored a seating area with big, fluffy pillows. We danced and chatted and drank some lemonade concoction that tasted like pink Kool-Aid. All we kept saying was, "Wow, you can't even taste the alcohol!!" Those are famous last words, aren't they?? Yup. So we all danced the night away and I crawled back around 4am or something. There are like 2 clocks on the entire island so I never knew what time it was. I suppose that was intentional...anyway, on to Day 2...and a new post. :)

Tired as Hell

2008-08-03T09:37:00.005-04:00

I'm back from Boracay and I'm so far beyond travel-weary. And I got sick the last day. Just a general head cold but annoying nonetheless. So, this isn't the real official update about my trip. I'm taking my parasailing-in-the-rain, horseback-riding-through-the-mountains, ostrich-eating, adorable-Filipino-kid-adopting, spa-pampered ass to sleep... :)

I have two different perspectives on Boracay. While I had a fabulous time spending my hard-earned money, the surrounding impoverished areas were not lost on me. It has affected me in a way that I didn't think it would. I met some people who really, truly touched my life forever. So I look forward to sharing their stories and my perspective.

Until then,

J

**before snorkeling**

**Noeme, the cutest Filipino child EVER...we love her so much**

**horseback riding in the rain**

**all of us with Miss Noeme**

**Taken by Noeme...drinking my mojito at sunset!**

Makin' Mud Pies

2008-07-20T09:03:00.015-04:00

Soooo much weekend craziness to recap. I'm back from The Boryeong Mud Festival! It's an annual event down at Daecheon Beach attended by foreigners and Koreans alike. The gals and I went through Adventure Korea so we stayed over Saturday night. The whole festival was basically like Spring Break with mud. Staying up late, drinking on the beach, and engaging in general foolishness. We met lots of interesting characters though. A truly unforgettable experience.

Alright, so Friday night, Kayla and I stayed over Margot's place. We had dinner and drinks at nice pub-style restaurant. Apparently I arrived just in time to see this crazy lady fall down in her seat while her equally-drunk husband just watched! Oh joy! Just wish I'd gotten video of it because it was truly hilarious. I thought maybe she was dead but no no...just WASTED!

So on Saturday, we woke up entirely too early and headed to Hongik Station in the pouring down rain. The raindrops actually came through my cheap ass umbrella! It only took a couple of hours to get to the mud beach and by then, the sun was out and burning a hole in my retinas. There were a lot of events going on like Army-style boot camps and a 5K race, all in the mud. But we didn't partake in those. I know, I know...what's the point of going to a mud festival if you're not gonna get dirty?! But I didn't think a few scampers in the mud for 10 mins would justify hours of trying to get that nonsense outta my braids later. So there you have it. But it was still a ton of fun!!!

Then we went to the regular beach about 30 mins away, Daecheon Beach. This felt very Spring-breakish with lots of drunkenness going on early. Here, they had a lot of events with imported mud from the original beach. They had mud wrestling (naturally), a mud prison, mudslides, and mud body painting. It was just madness. My cute canvas bag was quickly covered in pink, green, and blue mud. But we walked around and took pics of everything. Super cool.

**Bikini Man**

**cute dreaded guy and his "dirty" girlfriend**

**my name in Korean**

Later in the evening, we went to dinner at a great galbi restaurant. We drank lots of soju so I was already tipsy. We walked for awhile in the cool, night air then looked for more alcohol! And we found it at a cute bar/lounge called Orange. After TWO extra-strong Tequila Sunrises, Margot and I were preeeeeeeetttttyyyyy drunk.

**Susannah and Christina, our roommates for the weekend**

True to form, the rest of my evening was pretty much a blur of fireworks, idiocy, drunken groping, and trash talking. :) It felt like Spring Break Miami during senior trip but with all new people!

**This is a game where you try to knock the nail all the way down in 3 hits. Margot was OBVIOUSLY too drunk to do this so she got it in 30 tries...GOOD JOB!**

**Korean Fabio**

**Trying not to light myself and others on fire**

**Public drunkenness is not a crime in Korea and thank God for that!! Damn that mango soju...**

I was stumbling down the boardwalk around 230am, heading back to the beach, when I saw a guy who I suspected was Hispanic. So I did a U-turn and went back to him. I screamed (because that's the only way drunks can communicate) in Spanish, "Where are you from?!" And that started a whole conversation. His name is Jose and he's Mexican, visiting Seoul til October then returns home to Cali. My ex-boyfriend was Mexican and named Jose and they kinda favor each other, height-wise, looks-wise, everything! Amazingly, my foreign language skills only improve with alcohol...native ones? Not so much...hahahahaha! Oh, irony...

**One word - SAUCED!!!**

**Don't we look sober?!**

That's all for now. No resolution on the whole "Sambo" thing. I didn't have that kindergarten class this week and I'll be on vacation next week. But oh, I will NOT forget. I'm gonna ask Mary, trust and believe.

Upcoming posts include:

- Philippines/25th Bday celebration
- A new guy...WAHOO!
- News/pics from Robert!!

Until then,

J

A "Sambo" in My Kindergarten...?!?

2008-07-16T20:06:00.004-04:00

You know, I'm trying to pretend that "sambo" in Korean means something else, but this is quite hard to defend. I'm going to ask a Korean friend just to double-check. Anyway, I was sitting there on Tuesday, watching those same little boys from my previous post, ABC's Korean Style, learn their alphabet. Now, I can read Korean so I was mouthing along the words. They were learning a particular cluster of words using the Korean M-sound. So, they learned "Nam-ja" which means boy/man/men. They learned "Ram-bo"...yes, Sylvester Stallone's gun-wielding character. And lo and behold, the next word is "Sam-bo".

**head tilt**

I'm thinking, "Oh boy, now the real education begins!!"

So, ummmmm....yeah. Sorry, my mind is still reeling a little. The teacher starts explaining in Korean what this "sambo" means but since I don't understand Korean all that much, I had to rely on hand gestures and context clues. Her hands were flying wildly, but then she did a circular hand motion around her face, as if applying a whole bunch of make-up. Could this be a reference to White-face? Damn I wish I had been videotaping this week!! Then, the little boys did something interesting - they all turned around and looked AT ME!

BINGO!

I looked straight back at them wondering if I was their real-life example. I couldn't believe that she was teaching this in a kindergarten!!!! ARE YOU F**KING SERIOUS?! I sat there after the lesson a little dumbfounded and I really had the urge to ask her what in the HELL she was thinking teaching children period about such a demeaning portrayal of Blacks? Because I couldn't think of the Korean translation for "You're a f**cking @$$hole and what the hell is your problem!??!", I just sat there staring into the floor. I even looked this up in my Korean dictionary, but I couldn't find it. If my friend Mary had been there, who speaks Korean and English, I could have gotten my point across clearly.

I need more clarification, right?

I need a drink, maybe?

I need.....a BIG case of whoop ass....

Until then,

J

My New Blog

2008-07-14T07:44:00.004-04:00

Because I've gotten such an overwhelming response to my blog (thank you, all 10 of you...so kind), I have decided to continue the madness when I get home. :) I reserved the name today but there won't be ANY posts on it until mid October.

**drum roll please**

The new title is "The Soul of Broke Folks" hahaha...the address is:

http://joiasemptywallet.blogspot.com

And there you have it. This title is so appropriate because you can pretty much count on my travels to continue which means, I will probably be broke. But I'll be rich in experiences! I hope you will enjoy my broke musings just as well!

Until then,

J

Can You Wear Curly Fries?

2008-07-13T11:03:00.010-04:00

I can! That's what my hair looks like - a big ole bucket of Arby's curly fries. Ooooh, Arby's....*drool* So, my weekend was pretty decent. On Friday night, after a seemingly interminable day, I went out for a much-needed drink with one of my new girlfriends, Lee. She's a super sweet girl and she lives in my building. So, she introduced me to a cute cafe across the street from us that serves, quite possibly, the bombest sangria outside of Spain. I had a nice little buzz because I drank it like cold, red Kool-Aid on a hot, summer day. DEE-LISH! Then we went out to a nearby party area and had some more drinks. The bar was pretty dead, but these two Korean dinosaurs came over to her. It was really strange though. They were interested in speaking to me, but they proceeded to brag to her in Korean about where they went to school 8 million years ago. I guess they went to the Harvards of Korea. Whatever. So, one was really great at English and he was a physicist. And the other one was choking on his words so badly that in my semi-drunken state, I almost whacked him in the throat and blurted, "SPIT IT OUT!!!!" He was rather annoying. He later challenged me to a game of darts. I whupped his ass. I haven't played darts in ages and I'm actually quite atrocious at it, but alcohol gives me great focus. At least I wasn't as bad as this guy though....

**shakes head** Oh Korea...

**me and Lee**

Saturday was spent taking out my braids. I went to Korean class, too. I'm now the only person still left from the original class that started in April. So the classes have been combined with a higher level that meets 3 times a week which means that I am now the dumbest one in class. But I love it! Same teacher but I like the guys in my class. There are 2 Japanese guys, one older and one younger with a pregnant wife, and an older New Zealander. They're all really funny though so it makes the class go by faster. And I try to keep up. The only thing I'm quite pissy about is that I have to buy another new Korean book. I've yet to finish ONE book!!! So, Margot came over and we watched movies while handling the monumental task of braid removal. Then we went back to Sangria Heaven and drank 2 small pitchers. She passed out on the bus going home. HAHAHAHAHA!!

**yes, you can see what's nesting up under that cap!!**

Sunday morning, I got my curly fries put in. Now, these aren't curly extensions, people. This hair was straight and then hot curled to drag queen height and proportions. But for public viewing purposes, it has been tamed with massive bobby pins. Today's adventure with David took me around an ancient palace in Seoul. Perhaps the oldest? It's called Changdeokgung Palace. We missed the last English tour so it was in Korean which meant I was wandering off exploring and not paying attention. But David tried his best to translate for me.

Hmmm, let's see if I remember any interesting facts about this place...? Ummm, well back then as was customary, kings had several wives. His first wife was chosen for him by the people and his parents. But he really loved this side chick so he built a house for her, but then he died a year or so later. At age 23. Shame. Oh, and there are these weird insects that look like ladybugs on steroids. They're all over the place, including my curly fries. Yes, one thought it was at home and decided to set up shop. We can thank China for these creatures. As a result of global warming and other man-made problems, they have migrated to Korea and are wreaking havoc on weaves and braids everywhere. THANKS, CHINA!!!

After the palace tour, we went to dinner at my favorite Mexican place, On the Border. I bumped into Aeja and other black folks making merriment!! My heart sings....There's also a cute waiter there named Gadget (no, I'm not kidding...) and I kept trying to send him telepathic messages that I was NOT on a date and he was NOT my man. However, Gadget didn't get it. And the fact that David wanted to carry my handbag only made us appear all the more together. Lots of Korean guys like to carry their own murses in addition to their lady's bags. Since my bag had a whole bunch of heavy crap in it, I didn't object. But I realize this gesture, while generous, appears to place us into a category that I'm not trying to be in. So, girlfriend will be carrying her own bag from now on... :) David is growing on me. Not in the "I'm-attracted-to-him" sorta way. But he's been downgraded from crazy to nice. He's a pretty alright guy in my book.

I'm offering up 500 won (that's 50 whole cents!) for anyone who can accurately decipher this crazy ass email I got from a random Korean admirer, specifically "the woman who is dead water" and "house of birth grudge"...GOOD LUCK!!!!

Until then,

J

"Goodbye is. Is made to know you and is glad very. I am living in Kyonggi-Do Ilsan. I self-employed from Ilsan. I seek the truth one woman. I forever together want the woman who is the dead water. You this as the good woman is the house of birth grudge. If is thought the if your woman I go meet you. Knows your truth and the answer which you is positive and knows. I wait the reply where your truth is put in. "

ABC's - Korean Style

2008-07-08T23:58:00.003-04:00

I know you all probably don't believe I actually teach kids out here. Seems like I'm always having fun, but ohhhh, I work HARD for that money! Yes, I do. And I T-H-O-R-O-U-G-H-L-Y enjoy my weekends. So, I just wanted to show my kindy kids learning their Korean ABC's. They're super cute. But why am I sitting there mouthing the sounds too? I tell you, it's probably the best way to improve my Korean! Speaking to Scott doesn't work so hey, maybe I'll do better talking to 5-year olds!

Then these are some of my beginner kids just goofing off in the teachers' lounge. They're between 9-11 I think and definitely some of my favorites. I've been working on these different phrases and it feels good that they can actually respond now. At the beginning of each class, we practice real conversation for 10 mins. They ask each other a series of questions like, "Hi, how are you? What's your name? How old are you? Where do you live? What's this?" Every week, I add in a new question so they can review the old stuff and practice the new stuff. Appropriate responses get a smile from me and wrong ones get a frown. You wouldn't believe how much work it takes to get them to say "It's a pen" vs. "It's pen" and "They're books" vs. "It's books". You don't realize until you begin teaching English just how difficult this language is. It's not always logical and there are rules out the ass. And not to mention stupid idioms. I'm pretty thankful that I was born into this language and don't have to learn it as my second one. I've taught such a wide range of English since I've been here - grammar, conversation, listening, math and even science!! It's like re-learning all this stuff but then having to simplify it so that English learners can understand. My job is not necessarily hard, but it has definitely improved my creativity and ability to think on my feet. Last week, I totally blanked on a kindergarten game. Could not think of a game to do while thirty 6-year olds are screaming my name and the Korean teacher is staring at me like, "Well, what the hell do you wanna do??" I started to panic and sweat and then suddenly I thought of an awesome game that worked like a charm for that class and all my other ones. So is the life of an ESL teacher...

I have lots of fun with them. In Korea, even the bad kids are still pretty good...another post is coming about my weekend, don't worry! :)

Until then,

J

Me and My Hanbok...

2008-07-06T11:05:00.011-04:00

It was only a matter of time before I ended up wearing a hanbok and I must say it doesn't look so bad on me. They're so gorgeous and comfortable. That little hat reminded me of a decorated jelly donut that I wanted to eat though. It kept sliding down into my eyes. So yeah, David and I went to a traditional Korean village in Namsan. For $1, we could play dress up like ancient Korean royalty. I know the different outfits mean different things, but I couldn't tell you what this means. Sorry. I have a Korean friend here who just got married and she was wearing this one in a particular Korean ceremony so perhaps this means newlywed. Which is funny....ha. Cuz I'm not.

**this old man was about ready to get off work I think**

We walked around there, played some old Korean games, and watched drum performances. I thoroughly enjoyed it. After that, we went to La Cantina, supposedly the first Italian restaurant in Seoul. And let me say that they must have little old Italian ladies in the back of that kitchen. I've had some "Italian" food here before and it was an embarrassment to all of Italy. Fettucine Alfredo that looked and tasted like old mop water. SHAMEFUL! But this place...a gal could get chubby hanging out there. Great calamari, Caesar salad prepared at the table, good wine, pasta and tiramisu. I thought this tab would easily have topped $100 but the prices were actually reasonable. So, if you're in Seoul, go there. Yes.

Then we went around Myeong-dong for shopping. It's a nice area that I rarely go to though because the crowds are just outta control. But let's talk about my JACKED UP priorities. I'm supposed to be looking for summer clothes and beachy stuff for this trip. Did I buy summer clothes, you ask? HELL NO!! I bought 4 more bags...because I'm a junkie. And this is what addicts do. You can't even go near the stuff really. So when I come home and have to pay $200 because my suitcase is overweight, I won't have anyone to blame but myself...and of course, Korea.

I hung out with Bryan on Friday night which was fun. It's funny because I didn't realize he permed his hair so when he showed up with some tendrils, I was like, "Oh wait a minute..." His stuff was extra bouncy and fluffy. Kinda threw me but anyway, we saw "Wanted". And because I have a slight obsession with Angelina Jolie (and her boo), I loved it. BUT, I was quite pissy that all previews failed to mention this DELICIOUSNESS!!! This man's swexy factor is OFF THE RADAR...and whoever was responsible for advertising and promotion of this film needs to be kicked in the back of the head and thrown from a speeding train. HOW DARE YOU!!!!! I know he's linked to Serena Williams at present, but just know that his love for ME runs very deep. :)

**swoon**
**Thank you, Lord**

This weekend I will have to go see my other husband, Mr. Smith, in Hancock. Smooth shaven? Check. Tight, leather suit? Check. Bulging biceps? Check. Swexiness? CHECK, CHECK, CHECK!!!!!!!!!!!! There's a reason why I am not in Hollywood because I would lose...my...damn...mind...

Until then,

J

Summer Blazing...

2008-07-01T09:11:00.012-04:00

My energy is totally depleted. The humidity just kicked it up a notch. That meant I was slumped over at my desk most of the day, vapid and foaming at the mouth. I have no idea what's going on. But I know what really pisses me off when I'm already running low on fuel - BAD BREATH. You ever just get irritated knowing you have to converse with someone who has halitosis? That's how I feel every time the secretary says my name. Little electrons and neurons start firing off in my brain, giving me flashbacks of how her breath burned out all my nostril hairs last time. Well, tonight it was especially horrideous. And she kinda has a lisp which is like the atomic bomb of halitosis right? I used to have a wicked lisp so I can sympathize, but I also find some people's speaking patterns interesting. My brother noticed it when he was here and I never really did before. But some Koreans (or perhaps it's just an Asian thing in general) like to add random "th's" on the end of words. Like, my name should never have a "TH" at the end. But she likes to tack it on there which means every time she does, I get sprayed by the gingivitis and periodontal disease running rampant in her mouth. Do you ever talk to someone with bad breath in real short answers, in hopes that maybe they, too, will answer briefly? She got all yes/no answers outta me tonight. Anyway, I wasn't going anywhere in particular with that story...just wanted you to feel my pain. :)

I had another cool weekend. My new amiga had an 80s-themed birthday party. And no, I wasn't decked out in my throwback garb. I didn't have anything, but I wish I could've resurrected a few items for the occasion. I never knew Parrot Bay and Coke was so good, but I think it's my new drink of choice. After mojitos of course. Here are some pics! WOO!!!

**long sigh** Welp, I had a looooooooong talk with David last weekend. I had to get to the bottom of all this. In the past week, he emailed me about 5 times, texted me nearly 15 times each day with randomness ("how was it today? a day flies fast, isnt it? will our life fly like that?") and then called me at night. I'm exhausted from this non-relationship. I think he's a nice guy (who I am totally NOT attracted to) but there are some things that concern me. For example, I told him some of my favorite singers - Lauryn Hill, Lizz Wright, and Janet Jackson. Well, he went and downloaded some of their music and emailed it to ME. Why in the hell are you emailing me songs that I already have?! He also asked a question about where I grew up so I told him. Thirty minutes later, I got a text saying how he looked it up on Google Earth...nice town, he said! WHAT?! Who is doing that?? Ok, ok, I admit I use Google Earth for randomness sometimes but who is actually admitting to it?! That's the real question.

So, on Sunday, we met up near the Han River and did the cruise thing. It was nice weather and offered great views of Seoul. Moments were interrupted when someone's bastard child shoved his hand up my ass. You know, that's just never okay and I nearly got "extra black" on that boat. But I started to enjoy myself towards the end of it when he was asking me questions about what I see myself doing in the future. I can talk to a corpse til it dies a second death about that topic. So, afterwards, he took me to a really cute Spanish restaurant. And I mean real Spanish food - sangria, paella, and chorizo! But I hadn't eaten much that day so the sangria hit me hard. And amazingly, he did not become more attractive with more alcohol.

**don't I look uncomfortable??**

**tipsaaaaaaaay!!!**

Then after that, we went to a Moroccan style cafe which I think will be the place for my birthday dinner. I loved the hot, barefoot, and possibly gay waiters. But more importantly, there are little water canals running through the place! It's how the tables are separated. So you can be out in the open lounging on the floor or inside one of the enclosed seating areas. Dope doesn't even BEGIN to describe it. If there were even an ounce of attraction here, this would've gone down as the most well-executed date I'd ever been on. I mean, this man had hand-drawn maps showing all the different options of places we could go. I was impressed. So, here's a synopsis of the talk...

ME: Sooooo, this is nice and all...but what do you want from me?

HIM: Nothing. I'm just really interested in you. If you wanna be friends, I'll be that. If you wanna be more, I'll be that too.

ME: Uh huh. Well, I just want to be friends. That's all.

HIM: Ok...

ME: Really?

HIM: Yeah, really. I'd be okay only being your friend. I just like you.

ME: Uh huh...*skepticism abounds*

Of course, this conversation lasted about 30 minutes, but that's basically what happened. Now things are out in the open and there are no expectations, which is a huge relief to me. And if he gets all weird, he'll be gone faster than you can say kimchi.

I'd just like to thank everyone for their prayers, crossed fingers, and crossed toes...CUZ I'M GOIN TO BORACAY, BITCHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) 25 never looked so good....

Until then,

J